In need of a giggle?This might do the trick....

In the pink

Mum take a picture for your blog.Couldn't resist as she is not always keen to go on here!!Like a little hamster with her mouthful of sugarsnap peas.....



Oh this is sooo comfy....



Oh ok I will share it seen as though it is yours....

Found this here

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Audrey!

You are an Audrey -- "I am at peace"

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

• * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure


• * I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this


• * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit


• * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally


• * Ask me questions to help me get clear


• * Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery


• * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings


• * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation


• * Let me know you like what I've done or said


• * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life

What I Like About Being an Audrey

• * being nonjudgmental and accepting


• * caring for and being concerned about others


• * being able to relax and have a good time


• * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around


• * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator


• * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now


• * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being an Audrey

• * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive


• * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline


• * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally


• * being confused about what I really want


• * caring too much about what others will think of me


• * not being listened to or taken seriously

Audreys as Children Often

• * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant


• * tune out a lot, especially when others argue


• * are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Audreys as Parents

• * are supportive, kind, and warm


• * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Music and bouncing

We have a keyboard that Alan bought from a guy at work for a very reasonable price.He set about learning to play and got books etc and spent time on an evening getting to know the keyboard.He has never played a musical instrument and came to a place where he needed some help,as yet we have not managed to find someone nearby that he can go to for lessons.

Emily has never been really interested in playing it to make music but has used it to "play" along with some of the tracks on the system.When we got it the idea was that if it was available and she found it interesting it was a way for her to "play" with music.

Over the last week she has been listening to The Amber spyglass and Then Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.While listening to the Cd's she has spent a lot of time at the dining room table writing and drawing. In this area is the keyboard and over the last few days she has been tinkering with the keys "making" music.
She loves to play me her tunes and I can almost see the cogs turning in her mind and the connections that are being made as she listens to the notes and then puts them together in her tune. She has said she wants lessons as she feels so at home on the piano.I don't think at this time lessons are what she needs.I think there is a danger with lessons that she could engage for a while and then because of the repetition and difficulty with coordination she would give up and see it as a failure to be able to play, perhaps never to go near the keyboard again.I do wish I knew someone who could "Play" with her and not feel they had to "teach" her because I know she would get something out of that,if it was taken at her pace and in a very informal way.
That's the request out there,let's see what the universe provides;-))

Her guitar which is also in that area gets picked up,strummed for how ever long it holds her interest and is then put back until the next time.I see Emily's learning as a series of building blocks, little parts that come together over time, be it weeks months or years, to build her knowledge of that subject, to whatever extent she wants to take it.

Music has been playing a bigger part in our days, she has also expressed a wish to get a set of drums(an interest brought on by her friend E who plays)Bongo drums have also been mentioned a few times.

Milly has not been getting as much exercise as she used to and although she does go walking with Al and Beauty sometimes for well over an hour she doesn't want to go every day.She is also wanting to be at home and generally less active.Since we have lifted restrictions on food (I have not made a big announcement to Emily, but have just been saying yes to her requests for food)she has been eating enormous amounts and has put on weight.It is a combination of going through a growth spurt,hormonal changes, lack of exercise and the initial binging on chocolate and crisps.I was racking my brains in an attempt to provide a way for her to get some exercise without using coercion, in a way I knew she would enjoy.I remembered the mini trampoline we had and I brought that down near to the CD player and within minutes with no prompting from me she was bouncing away while listening.It is out all day and she is on and off all the time.



Over the last week or so I have found the initial binging on chocolate etc has eased.Although she is still eating more than I would choose for her.
On Sunday I was preparing Toad in the hole and had taken a bag of sugar snap peas out of the fridge,I heard Emily exclaim OHHHH and looked around to see her picking a handful of peas up to munch on with the same look of enjoyment as she would a chocolate bar.She did the same when the shopping came and asked for a large piece of cucumber to be cut off and she ate it while we all unpacked.She doesn't like a lot of vegetables but really likes the ones she does eat .When the opportunity arises we have talked a fair bit about food and how certain things can affect you, not in a concerted effort to get her to stop but to give her the information to make an informed choice.I have continued to buy chocolate,crisps,sweets every week and stock the drawer up if we run out as often as I can within budget.I make snacks up with assortments of the things I know she likes and include sweets,chocs etc with fruit and nut's and seed's.I have found my attitude is gradually changing,after the initial period of adjustment and panic at letting go of control I feel calmer and much more trusting.It feels good :-)

This afternoon I went out to do a little training with Beauty and throw her ball around,I left Emily at the computer watching something on BBCi.I was only out ten minutes or so and expected to come back in and see her still sitting there watching but she had paused the programme and was writing a story,she actually never went back to the computer as she ended up going on to something else. It struck me that way back when we let go of TV restrictions we were scared that she would not do anything else if given the choice,how wrong we were.

My little storyteller....

All this time uploading pictures and tonight for the first time I found the upload another picture facility (smacks forehead!!!) How much easier it will be when I am putting numerous pictures on....

Milly woke up this morning and the first words out of her mouth were "I had a really good idea for a story in the night" She has so many notebooks on the go with different characters/story's, it really is a passion.I am amazed at some of the lines she comes out with.As always she is not open to suggestions and is working her way through in her own way.By actually writing it and reading it out she is finding out how to put a tale together,what works and sounds right and just over the last couple of day's punctuation has crept in to her writing.

Today was home ed group day but Milly was not feeling 100% so we stayed home.We just took it easy and had a really lovely day.
We played together on and off throughout the day,in the game we were rescuing our Daemons from Bolvanger and I also got in depth instructions on Daemon care as apparently my Daemon Chimung is feeling very unloved and neglected and has been telling Pan(Emily's daemon) how sad he is.Must try harder;-)

Alongside playing we have been reading the third part in the Percy jackson series.Great fun and lot's of greek mythology which Emily is enjoying.She has remembered a lot of the gods from the Roman Mysteries, and is enjoying telling me the Roman names.

After lunch we washed our hairs.For the first time in my life I have nits:-(
Milly's friend has shared again with us.I found the Nitty gritty comb, we are using that and it seems to be doing the trick.

We decided as it was a nice day it was a shame to sit in and waste the sunshine we lit a fire in the chimenea and read The worst children's jobs in history. Emily really loves this and also Kings and Queens,they are funny and the information is in bite size chunks with quirky illustrations.They have age 5-7 recommended but she loves them and we have read them several times.

I put a chicken in the slow cooker this morning so that when we came home from group it would be easy to cook tea with minimal washing up.I had intended just to do some baked potato's and peas but as we didn't go out and I was at home this afternoon I ended up doing roasties, yorkshires, roast parsnip and carrots,cauliflower cheese and gravy. The kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it with all the pots!! After tea I decided the pots would wait and went through to watch stictly come dancing 2 and then Emily came through to ask me to join the two of them outside, they had lit the chimenea again and we sat under a clear sky while Emily told us ghost stories.What a lovely way to finish the day.

Emily's learning style.

I found this over at Our homeschooling approach

Some kids are happy to learn by doing. These are the ones for whom “practise makes perfect”. Some might call them kinesthetic learners. Others learn differently, developing a blueprint for even kinesthetic skills internally before trying things out. Their learning is no better or worse or more efficient or less; it’s just harder to see and therefore harder for parents to believe in.


I used to worry that my daughter would never learn that practise makes perfect, since I never see her stick with something that is hard. But you know what? She learns just fine anyway. It’s just that her “practise” is internal, where I can’t see her struggling with it. I just have to believe it’s happening and it is!

I remember when Emily was younger and I watched her playing with a shape sorter,you know the square ones with different shaped holes and lots of different shapes inside,she had a go at fitting the shapes with no success and then decided not to do it any longer.She didn't get frustrated, it was simply as if she knew she couldn't do it and didn't need to waste her time on it and she put it to one side and went on to something else.

We always had a load of toys out on the floor for us to play with and now and again I would introduce it into our play but she would ignore it. One day she went over to it and put the shapes in quickly, with very little effort.She was pleased with herself and her new found ability at that moment but rarely felt the need to give it another go, it was as if that process had been learnt and she just moved on to something else.Over the years this pattern has repeated itself so many times in so many ways.I don't see her working things out or persisting when something is hard.She jumps from one stage to another with no apparent learning curve.

Autonomous education suits Emily just fine,she is in charge and she knows what she needs and where she needs to be.The things she does and the way she does them may not always make sense to me and I have to be honest and say I would dearly love some external evidence of a process at times,however based on the evidence over the last 9 1/2 years I trust that she will learn all she needs to know in her own inimitable way

Changing seasons,positive thoughts.

Here we are on a very wild and rainy Saturday:-( I am in the middle of preparing pork chops in a cider sauce for tea,Alan is ironing while watching rugby and Emily is upstairs with her friend E,and the rain is hammering at the windows.

This morning as I looked outside at the garden I realised I just didn't feel ready for the colder weather.I felt low,I really love the sun,I really need the sun and the summer has been so rainy and cold,I haven't spent enough time outside.We haven't eaten outside as much as we would normally do.So many days we haven't been able to lay in the hammock and read on an evening,we haven't been able to sit in our tepee and light the campfire to toast marshmallows.So many things that didn't need the sun just dry weather.I was feeling really down.Then I began to think about what Autumn has to offer.

I have always liked the changing seasons and Autumn has always been one of my favourite times.The early Autumn with the subtle change in light and slight nip in the air.I enjoy putting the garden to bed for the winter,tidying the borders and veg plot. I look forward to crisp evenings in the garden around the chimenea with hot drinks and biscuits,walks on the beach snuggled up in layers, then home for hot chocolate,and the smell of the roast cooking.I love the dark afternoon's snuggled up reading or watching a movie.I love the sound of the rain on the sunroom skylights while we are all cosy and warm inside.So much to look forward to.

Here is a picture Emily took last winter.We live in such a beautiful place with this only a short car journey away.



Maybe things aren't quite so bad after all,and maybe next year will be the one with the heatwave ;-)

Milly's story

Milly has posted on her blog for the first time in ages and has decided to share a story she has been writing.She came in one night from walking home her best friend and said she had been telling A a story and would i type it out.
Well two hours later we finished for the night!! It just poured out and it is all her own words.We then carried on over the next week or so adding bits when we had time.My Mum bought her a dictation machine and she has hours more on there so it is an unfinished masterpiece.;-)
If you have time to visit I know she would appreciate it....

Controls and trust.....

I have been neglecting this poor old blog.
I keep meaning to post but things have changed around here.We are having to find a new flow to our evenings.

I have always sat down to write at night but Milly has taken to staying up much later .She has been up til 11.00 or 12.00 quite a few nights which in itself is not such a problem but she has been saying she is tired and wanting to go to bed around 8.30 or so and one of us goes through our usual bedtime routine of reading and cuddles and we leave her when her breathing settles and she is nearly asleep, so all in all around an hour or more is taken up.Then for whatever reason most nights over the last few weeks she has not been able to go to sleep so has come down again within a short time, overtired and hyper, saying she is wanting to stay up.I know she is having to go through this period of testing and finding her own limits and that is ok however, I find it easier to concentrate when it is quiet and with a lively 9 year old bouncing around there is not much quiet happening ;-)
By the time she is settled I have no energy to do anything apart from actually join her in bed!!
I know we will find a rhythm that suits us all but it will take a while for that to happen.Emily doesn't like to go to bed and be left after reading, she needs one of us to be there while she settles and this can take some time.She also dosen't want to be left downstairs on her own so if she has decided to stay up she will go up with whichever of us is up latest.I think the major stumbling block is my illness,keeping going too late means frayed nerves and temper.Some nights have been awful and I have felt it would be easier to go back to bedtimes!!Then I get up the next morning and in the light of day I think of what our goals are and it all seems to make sense again.
I am confident we will find a way, just need to be creative;-)

Writing in the morning is the other option but as yet inspiration has not struck that early so I continue to visit others while sipping my cuppa;-) As we adjust and find ways to accommodate all our needs blogging has had to take a back seat.

Tonight seems like a good opportunity to get something down,I have not been able to get to sleep so I came down to get a drink and felt the urge to post.(edited to add,this has taken me over a week to finish in the end!!)
We are coasting along at a leisurely pace,finding ourselves further down the radical unschooling path and hitting a few potholes along the way!! Over the last few months I have been thinking before answering a request and saying yes more, to all sorts of things ,Milly is in seventh heaven,I on the other hand am finding it all rather difficult :-(
Even though it has been a very well researched and conscious decision to go down this path I still lurch from excitement at the freedom and change that is happening to feeling completely out of control!!

The later bedtimes and her growing freedom to decide when she goes to bed have been difficult and finding a way to do it without me getting too tired and unwell is not easy but it is a doddle compared to letting go of food controls,I never expected it to be so hard!!
I have always felt we had a fairly liberal attitude to food and eating,never had a problem where food was eaten and have never forced her to eat food she doesn't like.Prior to her going to school she had a drawer in the kitchen that was always stocked full of sweets/crisps but she rarely chose them.She has always had a great appetite and prior to school would eat anything we put out.

At school she was "encouraged" to eat her sandwiches first from her packed lunch box,before eating the other things in it. At home we had always given her a plate with sandwiches ,fruit, yogurt, cake etc and she ate whatever took her fancy first but 99% of the time she cleared her plate.Later when she had school dinners (her choice) there was more involvement from the older children who became head of the table and dished food out and used coercive techniques including threatening to tell the teacher to get the younger kids to eat up the things they didn't like(found this out after she had left and have since heard similar stories from friends still at school)

I have to admit to getting really nervous as her favoured foods became more and more restricted as she progressed in school.I believe she felt out of control and food was something she could have control over at home.She became very picky and fussy about the food she ate and the way it was on the plate,certain things were not to touch or be on a separate plate.

I recently started reassessing the controls we had on food.I realised just how little choice Emily has had when it came to the seemingly "forbidden" unhealthy options.I never bought fizzy drinks for home although she could have them when we ate out and I had begun to cut back on sweets and chocolates when I went shopping.This came about because since leaving school, whatever was in the drawer was being eaten so quickly.Emily was getting less exercise as well, since she chose to give up dance and gymnastics classes and I was scared of her putting on weight and being unfit.I had also began to put restrictions on how much she could have which only served to make them more appealing.I have never been happy restricting food,it made each day a battle ground as she was requesting the "forbidden" treats and I was sticking to the rules I had laid down .I am so conscious of how easy it is to get a really bad relationship with food that haunts you for the rest of your life.It all felt wrong,it was causing a problem that I don't believe has to exist.

I read a lot on Sandra Dodds site and the RUN site along with articles on other peoples blogs and it all made complete sense. Abundance was mentioned a number of times, help them to feel that everything they could want would always be available.Within our budget I began to stock up the drawer with all the things I knew she liked and never said no to her requests.She has been eating lots and lots of chocolate,crisps,cola.I knew this was going to be a long haul and she would have to go through the initial binging to come out the other side believing that she had free choice and that the restrictions were not going to be put back in place,but it is so hard.I have been offering snacks regularly of the fruits and foods I know she enjoys and she has been eating a lot of fruit as well as all the chocs etc.On a good day I have been feeling confident in the process and not questioning her choices.On a bad day I have probably lengthened the process by my negative comments:-(

I have read a lot about letting go of food controls and am trusting that the experience of so many others who have been through it will happen here as well.One thing that I am trying to keep in my mind is the process we went through when we started saying yes more to TV watching.Initially it seemed she watched continuously, but gradually she began to chose to do other things.She knows she has free choice and so it is easy to turn and do something else when you know you have control and can watch whenever you want.More importantly I think it was my attitude change that was the big factor,I stopped thinking of the TV as being a bad thing,I sat with her while she watched.I talked to her about the shows she enjoyed and really made her feel it was OK to be watching what she wanted.

She has periods of time when she watches TV a lot especially if she is tired and has had a lot going on.A while ago when she had missed a programme she liked,I mentioned BBCi but she wasn't interested,this last week has seen a huge increase in her TV watching and BBCi has been used for hours at a time.Even though we have had so much evidence of her dipping in and out of Tv I can't say I haven't had a twinge or two about the amount of time spent on it recently!! I have offered lot's of outings but she is just wanting to stay in,a lot of the things I have offered to do as alternatives at home have been turned down.Tickle fights and offering to play role playing games with her have been winners,but as soon as we have finished she is back to the TV.Just to put that in perspective the previous 2 weeks she had watched hardly any TV as she began writing a book(I was typing it up on the PC)she has got 18 pages done.She was also drawing pages and pages with pictures of all the characters and it took up all her time.Lately she has taken to recording it on a dictating machine my Mum got her.I am going to have a great deal of typing to do, she has hours and hours on the machine!!


We want Emily to be in control of what and when she eats and to enable her to grow up with a healthy attitude to food and to be able to make her own choices.I know it is my thinking that has to change and I need to let go of all my hang ups and allow her to find her way.She's a clever cookie and I need to trust her.....

A great Dad...

A couple of reasons why I love my husband.

Milly and Alan were going to go up to the other end of the village to feed a friends cat while they are away for the week.It was a dry night and as usual Milly had no shoes on, As they set off Alan called out "Emily are you not going to wear shoes"! she looked back and said "No" although she was a little confused, we rarely question the fact she chooses to go with no shoes on(she often gets negative comments and funny looks from other's about her decision to walk with no shoes )Alan said "well neither am I",the look of delight on her face that he was going to join her barefoot on the journey was worth a lottery win,and the two of them walked off giggling.

We have been really busy over the weekend with painting and jobs and entertaining family for lunch today and have hardly had a minute to ourselves.Al was going out into the garden to get the last of the sun to read his book for some well deserved time on his own.Emily came bounding into the room just as he picked up his book,she asked him to draw with her,I knew how much Al really wanted to just sit and read and yet he changed his plans and the two of them have been sitting at the table in the sun chatting and drawing for an hour.

I love him for many other reasons but these have been a couple over the last few days that have reminded me he is one in a million and I am glad he sticks with me xx

Bust ups and set ups...

10.45 am.Milly still in the land of nod!!

Just been up to check and she looked at me blearily and then turned over and went back to sleep.

She had two friends over for a sleepover on Saturday.Lot's of laughter and play .They were quite good and kept the noise down but it was about 3 am when I last heard them.They were sleeping on mattresses in the living room and unfortunately we can still hear them talking even when they are doing it quietly.All of them slept until 10.30 the next morning, then it was a relaxed day for us all.Homemade pancakes for breakfast then play for them and pottering doing small jobs for me and Olympic action on TV for Al.Homemade pizza for lunch and more play for the girls till we took friends home at 3.30.
Home via shop for crisps chocolate and wine ;-)

Major bust up between me and Milly!! Both very tired and she was vv angry about a small incident and I reacted badly and it slid into shouting and tears quite quickly:-( Not happy at all with how I handled things.I can now see where her anger started but in my tired haze I was not switched on and didn't react well enough to stop it getting to the stage it did.Her initial angry reaction brought out feelings of resentment in me about how ungrateful she was being after all we had done to enable her to have a sleepover and a day with friends, unfortunately I voiced it which only inflamed things.

After a time to allow things to cool down we talked and sorted it out as best we could clearing up a few things and then all had tea whilst watching the Alex Rider film Stormbreaker.I came through to do some paperwork while they watched Midsomer Murders(god is it a week since I last posted?)

Milly finally got up at 11.00 am.Loose plans to go for a walk on the beach and to the big playground were changed and we stayed inside and had a great day full of cuddles,tickles,painting,story tapes,top trumps.Polly pocket and playmobile set ups were made through the day I got to sit with the pile of things and pass them to her as she set up her scene.

We also managed to talk more about what had happened yesterday and each got to say how we felt and what we could do differently next time,given that exhaustion on both sides played a big part!!Lessons learnt on both sides.......

You Are an "A-OK"

Your life philosophy can be summed up as, "Whatever will be, will be." Your greatest wish is to live each day a little better than the next. You are naturally calm and stable. Some people would call you a rock. You feel one with the world. You are a spiritual person, though no one who knows you would guess it.

What Hand Gesture Are You?

A typical day?

I am not sure you could call any day typical as each day does seem to be so different.One thing that is fairly typical though is that most of our days do have a certain flow to them, generally a slow start and then a relaxed pace through the day.

This Sunday started off early for Alan and I.He walked Beauty while I made us some porridge for breakfast and when he got back we chatted for a while as we ate before he went to watch the news on TV and I came on the PC and visited my usual blogs.Got a great link from Schuylers blog and spent time drawing a house!!I will post that later.

The plan for the morning was that Alan was going to start painting the exterior of the house and Emily and I were going to a garage sale that one of her friends in the village was having.I went up at 8.50 to see if she was awake yet.She was fast asleep,I knew she had been really keen to go to the sale so I attempted to wake her, but gentle stroking on her hand didn't wake her and as she was in such a deep sleep I decided to leave her a while longer.I lay next to her for a while then got up to get a few things ready and came back at 9.30,she was still in a deep sleep and it took some time to wake her.When she rolled over I quietly reminded her about the sale but said that it was OK for her to go back to sleep if that is what she wanted to do.She turned round and I said the other option was that we could change plans and just snuggle in bed and read to which she gave a big smile and nodded enthusiastically.(I took the picture a little later when I reminded her we had talked about recording today as our typical day.Milly is not always happy for her private life to be blogged so I checked first.Milly has her own room but likes to sleep on a mattress next to our bed)



Before we started reading Emily was keen to talk about our holiday plans.We are going to New quay in Wales in September and we are taking her older friend with us and she is beside herself with excitement.Emily said she was keen to start a packing list today and wanted to do it on the computer and she also wanted to get a book that she could use as a holiday journal and stick pictures in and write in each day.We talked about her relationship with her friend E and she said it felt like she had an older sister.

We read for quite some time and about 10.30 Alan broke off from painting to come up to remind us about the sale,he and Milly had a cuddle and we decided just to carry on reading when Alan went back to painting.The book prompted a discussion about running away and why someone would feel the need to run away.She talked about options to dealing with problems and said she would never run away.Certainly hope she never feels the need ;-))

We got up and I got dressed quickly and made her a crisp sandwich with chopped apple on the side and water with ice in to drink.(a favourite meal at the moment breakfast,lunch,or tea)She took it back upstairs and chose to listen to a story tape called The Knight of the storms and stars by Terry Deary set in Tudor times.

We were expecting my sister and nephew for Sunday lunch and after I had finished preparing the chicken and trimmings I called up and asked if she would like me to continue reading.She came down and we read some more and when one of the characters described himself as a Pacifist,she reminded me that Simon in the Spiderwick Chronicles had been a pacifist. She said she considers herself a peaceful person and does not like fighting at all, but would not hesitate to defend her friends if they were being threatened.The conversation then moved on to her other best friend who had been away on holiday and did not yet know E was coming on holiday with us and Emily was concerned she would be upset and it is playing on her mind a little.She decided to draw A a picture showing the two of them climbing a tree and Best Friends written across the top, to reassure her that she still loves her.She did most of the card then a conversation we were having as I was cooking reminded her of Harry Potter and she decided to go and watch one of the films.I took her through a snack of fruit and some mint tea I had made from our mint in the garden.

We had a really lovely lunch with My sister and Nephew and then lots of chatting,playing,swinging,trampolining.

When they had gone Alan went back to painting,we had a great sunny day and the forecast was not looking good for the next few days so he wanted to get as much done as possible. I took a while to wash the pots, and in between spent time sitting with Emily as she finished watching Harry potter.When I went upstairs to put something away I decided I would tidy Emily's room.



Yesterday Emily and E got an early start packing for the holiday and sorted out which Bratz they should take with them!!It only took a short time to straighten things up and I fulfilled my need for order and Emily was happy to have a clear floor for more set ups ;-))

Later in the evening Alan and Emily took Beauty for a long walk,Alan said they never stopped talking all the way round and they were out for over an hour.They have an ongoing story about Black eye Bill the pirate who lives in the woods and who has amazing adventures in the different areas they pass on the walk!!
Paddling in the stream in the woods is one of Milly's favourite parts of the walk.I made a light tea for us.They took theirs into the other room to watch Midsomer Murders.Emily loves it.
I browsed on the PC and then sat and watched TV in here for a while.Emily came through at 10 when her programme had finished, she was so pleased this time as she guessed who the murderer was ;-))
I asked if she was heading to bed,she said she would soon but she felt like going outside, so out she skipped, to go on the swing, stroking socks as she went.






Back inside and into a quick bath while I read to her and then all three of us got into bed and read a little more Best friends before lights out and the end of a beautiful day.

I'M BACK ;-))

An unscheduled sleepover is taking place. Much hilarity at the moment as the two girls and Alan bring the mattresses down into the living room.A couple of reasons why they are not sleeping in Emily's room,number one being the fact that 3 guinea pigs are residing in there, we've been looking after them for two weeks for a friend and that's the best place for them so they aren't scared to death by the dog and cat!! The other reason is that when they are in the living room I can't hear all the giggling and whispering so am more likely to get "some" sleep.

A and Emily went swimming with Alan this afternoon whilst I did all the housework,I know it might seem that I got the short end of the straw but we have found that if we take turns and one of us goes out with Emily on a Saturday afternoon the other one can do some housework as most of the house rarely gets touched during the week.I have moved a long way out of my tidying comfort zone and the upstairs is basically left the whole week,the bathroom being an exception and that may get a quick going over midweek.I do vacuum downstairs most days, having a cat and a dog really makes that a necessity and I tend to gather stuff up and take it upstairs as I go up throughout the day, makes for a clear living space during the week but an almighty pile to sort out upstairs ;-)

A came over to play when they got back and then as her sister was having a sleepover at her friends house the two of them thought it would be a good idea for them to have one too.I am hoping they don't spend all night awake as we are going off for lunch and having a walk to celebrate my Brother in laws birthday tomorrow.There is also the chance Emily will try her hand at Kayaking.A tired and grumpy Milly could make hard work of the day.

It actually feels good to be back blogging ;-)
I have had a crap couple of weeks, lot's of emotional stuff going on which in turn has a big impact on my Chronic fatigue symptoms.Home edding with low energy and high emotions is a tricky job:-(

When I started the Hypnotherapy course I knew it was going to be a really deep experience and felt it was just what I needed and it certainly has been.
This is what Rezwanna say's in her first leaflet I got.

We are going to create a clear focused mind,a happy mind, these create in the physical body a sense of well being.The two of these are 100% connected.

The aim is to give you, the power to access the source of existence itself.'life force energy' the positive force.
Expanding the miracle of life and channeling it for your own well being.

How to visualise what you want from life, make it happen by focusing your mind to create it.

How to deal with the hurdles in life, not to take on others emotions.To create the life you want.

Much of this is dependant on your state of health.So we are going to look at how to make yourself strong, by understanding how the breath connects you to the 'life force energy'.

Understanding how to be alert,focused, but have inner relaxation.

Understanding ,balancing and nourishing your 5 vital organs.Your vital organs ;Lungs,heart, liver,spleen and kidneys determine your state of mind,therefore to be balanced the energy into your organs must be balanced.

Understanding that meditation, hypnosis is a very important factor to all of this.Understanding the three minds and it is only through meditation, hypnosis that we can disconnect the conscious mind, connect with the subconscious mind,which is the pathway to communication to the external self(soul)

Understanding how to enjoy life, be childlike and have fun and be responsible when needed also.Enjoying ourselves at the deepest level from moment to moment, then we truly feel alive.

Sounds like a great end product doesn't it:-))


I have been using meditation and Homeopathy alongside other complimentary therapies for quite a few years now and I strongly believe they have been instrumental in the significant improvement in my emotional and physical well being.

This course incorporates techniques from many different cultures and faiths Buddhism, Taoism being two.It also ties in with many books and spiritual readings I have seen over the years.The group has settled into around 7 or 8 of us who go regularly, some of the ladies I knew from my monthly meditation group some I had never met before and it feels good to be supported by and supportive of, the group.

We have been doing some work on healing the inner child and this has been quite emotional but so rewarding.Rezwanna is such an inspiration, she is very down to earth and funny but is so wise and intuitive.She is charging a nominal amount for the classes and I believe she really wants to make a difference not a fortune;-)

Instead of blogging I have found the time to read the daily digests I have been recieving from the Unschooling basics Yahoo group I joined ages ago.I have felt for some time that I was going through a transitional period. I had a good grip on what unschooling looks like but have been struggling to understand Radical unschooling and how that could work for us.I read the philosophy and 'feel' it is right for us but translating that into day to day and how to make it work was harder.Reading all the topics on the list has helped enormously as has a new Radical Unschoolers group that has just been set up.I think a lot of people think of unschooling and radical unschooling as an easy option and that the parents take a very hands off approach to schooling and parenting. As I delve even deeper into it I am reminded that is far from the case.Radical unschooling excites me,I am enjoying the whole process of growth that we as a family are going through, even though it is not always painless.We have quite a way to go but I will keep on reading and learning,however that will have to stop on Learn nothing day :-))

Back to normal soon?

I would love to say I have been absent because of the exciting fun packed days taking all my time and energy,however that would be a big porky pie;-)

We have been through what I will describe as a lull.Probably a well deserved lull but not very blogworthy.

Hopefully normal service will be resumed soon.

A day of two halves.

Things started slowly today with a nice lie in and then pottering about until we went out at twelve.We were going to support our local village hall, the commitee had arranged an open garden day and Milly was very keen to go around so she decided to dress up for the occasion.



We are going to see Mcfly in concert in August and have purchased a top with stars on,it seems stars are important for Mcfly!! Anyhow she has been wearing it over the last few days with leggings but came down this morning with it over a skirt and leggings combo.Then she added the leg warmers and asked me to customize a pair of long socks my sister had bought her for christmas that had toes in, she could never wear them as socks so asked me to cut off a little bit of the toes to make them into fingerless gloves.



A picture of the effect from the back.



We managed to get round a few gardens,my favourite was actually an allotment, the lady is a real inspiration.She spends hours and hours on her plot she has a greenhouse/shed arrangement where she grows things but can also sit in a comfy chair listen to music and have a cuppa.She dosen't throw anything away and has utilised allsorts as plant supports, frames have been made from old metal bunk beds and wire fridge baskets and yet it all looks so good and not at all like a junk yard.

After a while our plan to go out before lunch proved flawed.We did get round one half of the village before Emily decided she had had enough and needed some food.Managed to keep in my mind a wonderful quote I read on the New Unschooler the other day and went to the hall for some tea and cakes.The revised plan to accomodate Emily was that Alan would carry on round and I would go home with Milly and get lunch ready and then I would try to get out after lunch whilst they took Beauty off to St Bees to go along the coastal path.As it turned out the plan changed again Al came home and after lunch they decided to head off and get back for tea rather than having the picnic tea they had planned. Talk about adapting and going with the flow!!!!


Milly just couldn't resist the water.



Recreating the famous scene from the blog header ;-))




Dog and girl in heaven.






We are so lucky to live so close to this.






Emily striking a windswept pose.



Having a little breather.



While they were out I had a list of jobs,the quiet start to the day turned into a marathon cooking session.I had soup to make for one night this week,I had all the veg in the fridge but I hadn't got it used for tea during the last week and it was starting to go limp so I needed to use it up ,bolognese sauce to make ready to go in a Lasagne one night this week,similar reason as I had got the mince out of the freezer but had not used it,write letters,send emails,secret sauce for homemade pizza to make and freeze,tonights tea to prepare.

Under normal cicumstances I would never choose to do this many jobs but I didn't have a good week health wise and things kind of piled up.As we have quite a few things on this week I needed to get these done and it will save me making meals when I have had busy days out.So it will all pay off in the end.

Never did get out to see the rest of the gardens and was still hard at it when the intrepid explorers came back.All were suitably tired,Beauty flopped down in the sunroom not to be heard from for a couple of hours.Emily went in a bath then listened to a story tape flat out on her bean bag while I finished prepping tea and trying to sort out some computer problems.Unbeknown to me after Emily had come down Alan decided to have a lie down and fell asleep .He only got up in time for tea because he woke himself up snoring!!!

Blogger isn't checking spelling.I am shattered and am sure there must be many but hey ho.....

EXCELLENT

Ever since we took Emily out of school our whole lives have changed dramatically.We have relaxed into a way of life that is much more fluid.We have evolved from a routine set by the clock to no real routine at all.We get up when we wake up and eat when we are hungry.Bedtime for Emily can be 7.30 as is the case tonight or 10.30 as it was a few nights ago.In many ways we are lucky that Emily is not too much of a night owl but if she wanted to stay up later we would find a way to accommodate her that worked for all of us.

Unschooling has become so much more than giving Emily choice in what she "learns" our whole parenting philosophy has had an overhaul. I so often wish I was better at capturing our days in words and feel sometimes I don't always get the point across very well.In the last post when I wrote about sitting on the harbour it struck me after re reading it that most caring parents would have sat out with their child,I did forget to mention two other occasions where we had had a similar experience and had all ended up cold and pretty miserable with a portion of Emily's meal being dropped on the pavement trying to eat and hold on to it at the same time :-( My point really was how we have changed our approach to parenting and instead of pointing out the previous times and using them as a way to get Emily to do what we felt was best we just accepted that it was important for her to be out side and it wasn't going to kill us to facilitate that.It is also most likely that one of us would have felt the need to comment on the "wise" decision she made about sitting in the car next time because it would have made us "right".These little scenarios crop up so many times in a day and our decision to move towards a non coercive way is most definitely not an easy one,we don't always do the best we could in a situation,sometimes we are truly crap at doing the best thing and revert to the old ways.We may stray off the path we have chosen to go down but manage to fight our way back through the undergrowth and get back on track;-) Any how it didn't make sense to me when I re read it and I hope that makes a little bit more sense now if any of you thought the same?

I truly believe with all of my heart that this way of life is right for us and is just what Emily needs.Having said that I have spent the last few weeks worrying myself silly.I read so many blogs(unschooling and other) where the children are so motivated to learn and are producing wonderful art and have rich and varied interests and I have felt so envious.For quite some time now it has seemed that all Emily has really wanted to do is listen to story tapes and when she is not listening to one she wanted to be read to and we had four different books on the go at once.We have been on outings and as soon as we are back in she has gone up to our room to listen to the CD she has wanted her food up there and has done very little of anything else when we are at home.She has not been on the computer for what seems like months and apart from a couple of films has not watched TV over the past few weeks,she has done very little drawing, she is so into the story's.I have questioned how I would feel if she was reading rather than listening to a tape or CD and to be fair I think I would still have worried.Initially it didn't worry me but gradually I began to get twitchy,it just seemed so reclusive and obsessive.My instinct was to let her work through it and although I offered things up they were most often declined so I just bit my lip and let her carry on.I can't tell you how hard it has been and for the first time I have seriously considered a more structured approach. I heard all the "I told you so voices" in my head when I thought about the future and saw her unmotivated and lounging around with no interests.

Thankfully before I did anything stupid some evidence appeared to show me that is unlikely to be the outcome.Milly has enjoyed The Lottie project on CD a couple of times now and got it out again when my mum took her to the library on Tuesday.She stopped listening to Alex Rider and put it on immediately they got home,the next day she showed me a story she had started.It is about a young Victorian nursery maid it is beautifully illustrated and there is a lot of writing and the story is obviously based on the Lottie project but with an Emily twist.The things she has learnt by "just" listening to story's are all coming out in the words she is using in her book, the history involved and the life she has developed for her Lottie character and all the other characters she has created in the story.She has said this is the best thing she has ever done and never wants it to end, she is writing obsessively(see a pattern emerging!!) and is so proud of it that she wants me to put pictures on here.She wants to get a book about Victorian nursery maids to learn more about their lives.Unfortunately the library was closed so we will have to go again,any ideas for book titles would be greatly appreciated.We went into Wilkinson's as she wanted a spiral bound book to write in and to stick the pages she had already written into.She wanted plain pages as she said she found it too restrictive to write with lines.I had it in my mind to say something but decided to hold my tongue until we had looked around and as there were no pads without lines I just casually said that I often found it easier to write with lines as it kept my writing straight and we continued to look for other bits and bobs and then she went back and got a pad and we headed home.She ended up re writing all the pages(very proud of herself as it was so neat and within the lines) instead of sticking them in the book and re drew the pictures.It now goes every where with her and I am sure she will get great pleasure from developing her story.However long it lasts I am happy for her.I can read the story as most of the words are spelt phonetically but I love to hear her read it,she knows where she wants a breath or when the character changes and she reads with great expression.She read it to her friend when we picked her up from school and when A asked why the girl in the story couldn't see her family Emily explained about nursemaids and how they went into service quite young and didn't get to go home very often. My fear has been calmed,Emily has her own way of doing things (she always has so you would think I would have learnt by now!!) they are different to mine and different to many other children but she is learning and she does have passions and interests.I am really hoping that in the future I stop needing these demonstrations of "learning" and just accept.

Life will be so much easier then ;-))

Emily came down with Al to get some supper as she felt a bit peckish and asked what I was writing about and I said I was just trying to explain how our lives had changed since she came out of school and she suggested I just write EXCELLENT in big letters right across the page, I suppose that does sum it up quite well ;-))

All's well that ends well.

Two posts in two days,almost feels like old times ;-)

We have had a really strange day today when things just didn't happen as we had expected them to.

We set off and dropped Alan off at the hospital and went in to the town to meet a friend and her son at a soft play center.I had been into the town on a few occasions but had never driven,in a panic at a junction I took a slight detour and we ended up on a scenic route around the lovely one way system to the car park :-)

When we were planning the outing my friend and I had had a discussion about a journey myself and another couple of friends had been on to a center in a neighbouring town that had closed on a Monday. I had meant to phone yesterday just to make sure this one was open but forgot.Emily was so excited as we hadn't been for ages and she almost dragged me along the street to the entrance and yes you guessed it, it was closed :-(

She is feeling so fragile at present and she just crumbled and cried and blamed me for not checking,my initial reaction was to be defensive however I breathed and took a moment and I just hugged her and empathised rather than pointing out my reasons for failing to check and how it really wasn't my fault.She calmed down quite quickly and we discussed our options which unfortunately in her opinion weren't a patch on the soft play.Our friends came and E who is 6 was also upset but was so keen to spend time with Emily that he was OK with going to the park.Luckily it was a sunny day and we set off with a rather sullen Milly.It didn't take long for her to perk up,I got some crisps and innocent smoothies from Morrisons and also some bubble gum which is her new craze at the moment(took a while but she can now blow bubbles and is immensely pleased with herself)I have to say I am not keen on the stuff but I am not 9 and I do remember many happy hours chewing and blowing bubbles when I was her age so can live with it.

In the end we spent one and half hours at the park and then just as we were walking to McDonald's for some food a nurse from the hospital rang. I had been expecting Alan to ring to let us know he needed picking up so got a bit of a shock at first thinking something had gone wrong, however everything was OK and we had lunch and then walked back to the car park.Said our goodbyes and E gave Emily a lovely hug and kissed her neck as he couldn't reach her cheek :-))

Just to complete the journey we took a wrong turn and saw rather more of the town than I would have liked and after a few more wrong turns ended up at the other side of town but at least on a road I knew!! 20 minutes late for Al .In the examination they had found an inflamed area and have taken biopsies, so now we wait three weeks for the results.

Back home for a rest and then as Alan hadn't been able to get the fish and chips he had wanted for lunch we decided to go to a nearby seaside town where there is a really good chippy and sit by the sea.

However true to form the chippy was closed and after many attempts we ended up in another town and found what seemed to be the only chippy open on a Monday night!! As it turned out they were lovely and we sat out overlooking the sea but it was rather less scenic in a much more industrial part.Milly had her binoculars and was keen to be outside, we were less keen as it had taken us some time to find the chippy and the sun had gone ,we suggested it was too windy and cold but decided as it was so important to her that it would be much kinder to sit with her than make her sit in the car. We put out the picnic mat on the harbour wall,put on our fleeces,and held on tightly to the paper while eating our tea. After five minutes Milly casually commented on being a little cold and said that in future she would probably sit in the car unless it was really warm.We both managed not to say "I told you so"or any words to that effect, maybe we are both growing up!!!

So, things didn't go quite according to plan today but as my old Nan used to say, all's well that ends well..

A summery note.

This wonderful geranium brightens up my driveway, the photo actually doesn't do it justice, the purple is much deeper.No real reason to show it,I just fancied opening with a summery pic:-))

Emily started feeling sick last Saturday night,from about midnight we made numerous visits to the bathroom.We had my nephew staying and had to be quiet so as not to wake him. At 4 am as she was sat on the loo and we were having a whispered chat she informed me that she thought he might be a bad omen because the last time he had stayed she had been ill as well.She spent the next night coughing continually and for the next four days spent most of the time in our room listening to her story tapes watching DVDs and resting.Whatever it was knocked her out and she is still not 100%.She has been quite emotional and not wanting to venture far.

Bit of a pity really as we had planned to stay over at my sisters this weekend to look after the animals and clean the two holiday cottages they have attached to the house.This is something Emily normally loves to do but really wasn't keen to go.I would of gone on my own but Alan was working and so I couldn't leave her here.We set off after A had gone home on Friday night and got to my sisters around 8.We unpacked and went to see to the donkeys and chickens.Last time we had been Emily was so confident with them but this time was very scared and wanted me to do everything for them.We went in and took a glass of wine(Emily had a tiny bit with some water in) into the bath.It was great to be in a large bath with the tap in the middle so we both had room.We had a good chat and then she got out so I could add some more hot water in and she wrapped herself in a towel and opened the bathroom window and sat with her legs dangling out so she could watch the sun set over the fields.It really is an idyllic place.Got ourselves bundled up in bed and I read for a while and then lay with her til she dozed off and then I went down to watch some TV and have another glass of wine:-))

I had to wake Milly up at 9 and went to see to the animals before getting breakfast,then Mum and dad came over to help us clean the two cottages. We got them done in double quick time,which was a good job as the first guests arrived over 2 hours early!!

Home in time for tea and Dr who on Sat then an early night for me and a long lie in this morning.Under normal circumstances as it was Fathers day Al would have got a lie in and we would have made him breakfast in bed but he needed to be up by 7 to take some medicine, he is going in to hospital for a flexible sigmoidoscopy (bowel examination) on Mon. He has not been able to have any food today and has had a very effective laxative to take!Never one to let anything hold him back he has still managed to do a couple of the big jobs in the garden that he wanted to get done and taken Beauty out for two walks and he hasn't once moaned about not being able to eat or the constant trips to the loo!!He really is an inspiration,it has to be said I would have handled the day quite differently and sadly not in a good way!!!Fathers day has been postponed until next Sunday.

I am getting up in the morning so he can have a lie in and then we will drop him off at the hospital and meet up with a friend for a trip to a nearby soft play centre.When we pick him up he has requested fish and chips by the seafront:-)

Some other shots from the garden to end on a summery note....








This one shows some growth in the veggie plot,things seem to be growing so slowly I think I was late planting or maybe it was the cold snap just after I put things in and that gave them a bit of a shock.Either way we have not had one thing from our plot as yet,unless you count mint and parsley.I have planted cut and come again lettuce 3 times and each time it has come and gone again, pesky slugs!!!
I will attempt it once more but intend to try in a tub this time.My first two attempts to grow peas also failed but as we speak the third lot are pushing their first tender shoots through and have been protected by organic slug pellets so fingers crossed.I was given a tip about using 4 pt milk bottles as individual cloches so have transplanted some broccolli over and will see how they do.I am getting immense satisfaction from the whole process although it has to be said the watering each night can be a little time consuming.I would like Emily to take more interest but she really isn't that keen to be involved and turned down my offer of her own little plot.In previous years she has humoured me and planted things in a tub in a half hearted way.This year I have just accepted she is not interested in the process as such but I know she will enjoy the end products, especially the peas straight from the pod, if the slugs are deterred from munching this last lot of course;-)

A fairly quiet week..

I am finding blogging when the weather is nice really hard,so much easier when it is cold and dark outside on an evening;-)

Alan had last week off and he and Emily had some nice afternoons out and I got some jobs done that have been put off and then put off again.



This hides behind the sofa in the living room.Out of sight out of mind ;-)


Thursday Alan got on with the mountain of jobs we had to in the garden that were too physical for me to tackle.This rockery area is at the top of the side garden.



I didn't manage to get a before picture but it was a real mess, a couple of years ago I had bought some Euphorbia which is a gorgeous plant with tall light green "flowers" in the spring the unfortunate thing is that it spreads a lot and it had quickly overrun the rockery and all the other plants in it:-( Quite a job to clear it but we have plans for the area inspired by the lovely Grit more on that later.

While Al was tackling the rockery and other bit's and bob's Emily and I had a lovely day out with my Sister and Nephew at Muncaster castle it was the annual Festival of fools and the sun shone and the fools entertained us for hours.The winner AJ was superb,he was extremely funny and had me crying with laughter.We were there later in the afternoon than we usually are and got to see the Herons been fed for the first time.The front of the Castle has a fabulous view overlooking the estuary and you can see for miles.At 4.30 every day 18 Herons swoop down for food,quite a sight.I was sitting on the benches earlier in the afternoon watching them fly around, they really are elegant birds to watch.

It was Alan's birthday on the Saturday and we had planned a trip to Dalton in Furness to the Zoo It was a horrible 2 hour journey along a twisty road on a hot and sunny morning, Emily and I felt sick and were glad when we finally arrived.The zoo was good but Emily said she preferred the small animal park near us,mainly I think because of the horrid journey. At one point the day deteriorated and she informed me I was the worst mother in the world and that she was never going to speak to me again.It seems I could of handled that incident better!!!Milly is quick to the boil but after simmering for a time she apologised and we had a big hug and ended the day well.Hormonal females at each end of the spectrum is proving to be interesting :-)
Couldn't resist taking this picture of three sleeping lemur's if you click on you will see the one on the bottom of the picture has been gagged :-))



Since then things have been fairly quiet the rest of this week,it has taken me a while to get back to full strength so we have not ventured far. Lot's of gardening for me and lot's of story tapes for Emily.She has started on the Alex rider series and is now in spy mode ;-)