"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Thursday, 31 January 2008

A picture can be worth a thousand words...

I popped in to catch up on the goings on with Sally at Happy@home and found A fun assignment for Mon 28th Jan,even though it is thursday I thought I would like to play

I would like to know or see what is on in and under your bedside table

This came from The Lurchers
So in the spirit of sharing a slice of my life here we go....

I am a person who loves order and calmness. We have recently decorated our room a calming white and duck egg blue combination. On one side of the bed is a dressing table with a few pretty things on and Emily's latest book that she is sharing with her Dad and a bandanna she likes to wear.

On the other side of the dressing table are a couple of photos, the empty frame has been sitting for about 5 months now waiting to have a photo put in, I just keep forgeting!! The other is one of my most treasured possesions and is one of the things I would have to grab if ever there was a fire...

This photo holds so many memories.
Emily was born two months prem weighing in at 3 pounds 8oz. I had an emergency ceasarean .In a way I was lucky they didn't have time to give me a general anesthetic, I got to see her as she was born,I remember feeling that although it wasn't the birth I had planned it was still a lovely experience. All the staff were great and the anaesthetist was funny and kept my mind off things and Alan looked so handsome in his Drs scrubs!!! A short time later they wheeled my bed to special care for me to see her.She was on what they called a CPAP machine and looked so small and fragile.After that visit some complications set in and I was shifted about between a side ward and the labour ward for observation and was as low as I could be.I do believe I was in a state of shock. I had been to see my midwife for a routine check in the afternoon and by 10.30pm Emily was born.I can remember being in a side room off the labour ward, hearing all the midwives going about their day and I felt so lonely and scared.Every now and again someone would pop in to do the obs and then off they went again. My youngest sister came with her husband and they were allowed in for a few minutes and she left me some magazines and a frame. Shortly after,as if by magic one of the nurses from special care came with my first picture of Milly ,she put it in the frame for me and left and I can remember all the emotions just welling up inside and as I looked at my darling daughters face I cried and cried and cried...This picture signifies a time in my life where I was at my lowest point but at the same time the most joyous and life changing..

As we move to the other side we have more evidence of Milly in the adornment of the bedpost, an old wine bottle holder stuffed with her precious things and a gauze bag on the bedstead.

On my side of the bed we have the alarm which we never use to actually wake us but has a radio and cd player. Ear plugs for me as we have a snorer in the room and books, story cds and drawing paper,and pencil sharpener as further evidence Milly spends a lot of time here.

More photos and of couse a small disco ball, what bedroom would be complete without one? Those are the things on top of the bedside cabinets, in the drawers are undies and bedding and the usual clutter drawer with bags of makeup that I have never used and will probably never use but I never get round to throwing away in case it comes in handy.

Under the bedside cabinet is where my most treasured item sleeps,she has enabled me to grow in so many ways since she came along.Because of her I let go of my need for order and calmness and give in to the adornment that takes place in Millys world, I struggle to balance on her mattress to get into my wardrobe every morning, and I wear ear plugs every night because it is her rather than Alan that snores so loudly.We hold hands before we go to sleep and since she has been sharing our space I feel closer and more connected to her than I ever have before.


Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Welcome to Fun Monday! A post from the heart...thank you!

If you want to join in next week, go here! http://tiggerlane.blogspot.com/

Michelle said...

Slightly strange to be pointing out another similarity . . .

Clo was on a CPAP machine at birth too. She was term so fortunately didn't have the worries you get with prem babies, but she was fighting the CPAP so they had to knock her out and ventilate her. In special care for only 6 days. Hands and feet and ear(feeding tube wrapped around it) and nose all bruised and she looked like she'd been through several rounds with Mike Tyson - but she was home and finally "my" baby again.

Seemingly just caused by hiccups at birth. Which was at home so a bit of a mad ambulance racing moment. Me left at home to deliver the placenta and wait for my ambi to arrive.

Look how bonny Emily looks now. Emotional this one.

Lynn said...

Hi, Michelle,
I cried when I wrote that yesterday,and I cried again when I read your story this morning.Talk to self "get a grip woman"!!!!
I have to say that post started with seeing the happy monday challenge and as I took the photo's everything came flooding back.
It didn't help that I have read a Blog called Bodhichitta I found on The new unschooler blog and she is dealing with the death of her dauhgter from cancer and I suppose I was counting my blessings......
The similarities between our two are spooky.
I always remember the very first time I read your Blog and saw and heard about her and I felt an immediate connection,perhaps the fact they are both only children also played a part. xxxxxx

Lynn said...

aoj and lurchers,
thanks for the idea, I wasn't sure where it would take me and that's what I enjoy about these challenges!