An unscheduled DVD fest.

After feeling so positive last Thursday things took a nose dive and I haven't been dressed for 3 days.Watched all the Lord of the Rings trilogy plus other DVDs and have been incapable of much else.

A little person who was also feeling under the weather,wrapped up and listening to a story tape.

Could this be the beginning of something Big?

What a fantastic day today has been:-))

Emily came down around 8.30 (after going to sleep at 7.30 last night)She had got to sleep around 1.30 am on the Tuesday sleepover but they had both slept in til 10 am which wasn't bad but she was still tired obviously...

After reading some of The Golden compass she went to watch the Golden compass on DVD for the second time in two days,while I threw the vacum around. She got part way through before we needed to go out.Just as we got to the front door my sister arrived,she knew we were heading off but had popped in for five and to see our new veggie area so I willingly showed it off and then we had a natter and headed out.

We spent the morning at the food coop as usual.Milly played and I chatted whilst packing up the fruit, setting up and the packing up takes approx 1hour and then from 11 til 12 we just chat and drink tea and chat to the folks coming to collect their bags,not a bad morning eh;-))

Home for a quick lunch,and more of the Golden compass DVD for Milly then at Milly's request(very unusual for her to actually request to go out)we went off to Trotters World the local animal park.It was a pleasant afternoon weather wise and we had a great time.Emily was in fine form and was funny and great company to be with.We got to see the Lynx being fed and it was amazing to see it in motion and jumping up to get the piece of venison on a rope, as we only ever see it sitting on the rock.I was probably more interested in it than Emily though,she had found a "good" stick and was more interested in prodding that in things and wondering what would happen if she were to touch the electrified fence with it and whether sparks would be visible.At one point she was walking around with the stick behind her neck like a yoke with her arms hanging over the top of the stick and her head hanging down limply and the story was that she had been a robber and she had had a stone thrown at her as punishment and had died and she was hanging on the tower of London for all to see as a deterrent!!!

We very nearly got a fantastic close up of the peacock,it was in a marquee and Emily got within stroking distance and went to get her phone out(not too sure if I blogged about the mobile? She got it for 19.99 from Argos, long story as to the whys and wherefore's but she paid for it herself and after initially texting a couple of Aunts and her friend who has one and pretending to be on the phone round Tesco's etc it has hibernated in her bag just as I suspected it would,but gets taken out to take photo's now and again) as she was about to take it out the bird screeched so loudly we both shot back,Milly is not good with loud shocks and I thought she was going to burst out crying which would be the usual situation,she held it together but did not want to take the photo at all and just wanted to get out of there.Pity though cos it would have been a great shot.

In the car on the way home we heard that Mcfly are coming to Carlisle this summer and Milly is keen to go so it looks like I will be getting to see them too;-)) Her first live gig and my first open air one too.My good friend M and her daughter E (who is the one responsible for introducing Emily to the boy's) will also be going with us.So at nine sharp I will be on the phone to try to get tickets,fingers crossed....

Back home to make tea and I was flagging but had arranged to go to a Hypnotherapy course and it was the first night.Rezwanna who does my massage ,reflexology etc was running it.I was quite excited as it promised to be a really healing series of workshops and I was looking forward to it but it involved going out at 7.00 and not getting back til 9.30 and I am not good in the evenings as my energy is so low.I suppose the other thing holding me back was the fact there would be people I didn't know there and I am not good in new groups but on the plus side a couple of the girls I meditate with were going so I talked myself into going and I am so glad I did.We sat in the garden (which was a little nippy but it was nice to be outside) there were around 15 of us and I think it is going to prove be the most exciting thing I have done.It is about healing yourself physically ,mentally and emotionally and empowering yourself using hypnotherapy techniques.It seems to bring together so many elements that I have been reading about and attempting to practice over the last few years in a very easy and workable way.Can't wait for the next one.

Planning department failed to plan, causing major wobble...

One of the things that I had a hard time dealing with when we were deciding whether to take Emily out of school was the fact she was an only child and I felt that by taking her out of school we were condemning her to a lonely life without all those kids in school to play with.

As it turns out Emily was very lonely at school even with all those kids to play with and eventually that concept lost any validity. However over the last 14 months there have been days when the worry about her being lonely is overwhelming.
Most of the time I think we have a good balance of being with friends and having the down time that I know she needs,but sometimes the balance is off.

I think the nicer weather has been a trigger for her feeling left out and lonely.Her best friend A lives at the other end of the village and on the nights she is staying with her mum (parents split up and she stays 4 nights with mum) she has children who live near her and they spend time playing on the allotments, this happens spontaneously and last week Emily expressed a wish that she had friends nearby to play with in that way.Now the rational side of me accepted the fact that quite naturally she was feeling a little lonely and that I had not been as proactive in arranging play dates etc and that we could work on ways to ensure she see's more friends. Then within a short space of time (after watching her swinging on her own in the garden looking,in my opinion,sad) the totally irrational side took over and blew it up out of all proportion,all the old fears came back and I felt so responsible for her sadness.

It took me a while but I let the irrational thinking go and looked at it for what it was without projecting all my own fears and assumptions.Emily does like company but she also needs her own space and it was simply that the balance was off and thankfully this week we had things planned that have allowed me to see a more balanced view.

Monday she had a play date,Tuesday she was with her cousin,then had a sleepover with E ,today was Home ed and she made some new connections with a couple of the boys there.A friend they normally play with wasn't there and they were more involved with the other children and Emily got to play with them both at group and later when we went back to my friends house for a cuppa, so a stronger connection and the possibility they would come to play means another couple of playmates in the future.Tomorrow she will have 3 hours playing with two other home ed friends,some weeks they are great mates some not so great but generally a good experience for her.Friday best friend A will be here for tea.Things don't just happen, her friends don't just live up the street and it takes work to plan things,her group of friends has taken time to evolve but is still growing.I just let things slide a little in the planning dept and had a wobbly few days because of it.

Friends of all ages.

I have taken five to blog so I don't have a whole week to catch up on again;-))

We had one of our home ed group friends over for the afternoon yesterday and Emily and her little six year old boy got on really well, as the weather was nice they spent most of the time in the garden.It was not warm enough for us to sit out so we sat in and chatted which was very pleasant indeed and we got to know each other a little better.We had made some cookies and luckily there was nothing in them that E was allergic to so he managed three of them;-)) We had made some fresh play dough up as well but that wasn't required so I must remember it is in the cupboard and get it out sometime before it goes off!!

Alan went off to his Tai chi and in past weeks Emily has waited up for him,however she came in from playing in the garden at 7.00 looking really tired,I said I was going in a bath and would she like to join me and she said she would and then go to bed.We had a giggle in the bath,we really need a much bigger tub now she is growing so much!!! Into bed to read The Golden Compass (We had started it some time ago but had not got too far into it and it was put to one side,listening to the end of the trilogy on story CD had sparked her wanting to pick it back up again) usually when I say I am going to stop reading she asks for more but tonight she just said "goodnight" and gave hugs and kisses and rolled over and got settled and was asleep quite quickly.That's two nights when she has decided to go up early.She didn't wake til 9 this morning so is obviously needing even more sleep than is usual for her, and she is a girl who likes/needs a lot of rest.

Tonight is definately not going to be an early night as we have E here for a sleepover.We picked her up around 5.30 to come back here for tea.One of the things I love about her is that although she is 14 she really likes to role play and the two of them like the same stuff so tonight has been a "game"(for want of a better word) involving Spiderwick and Golden Compass characters.We lit the chimanea(logs are drier so no smoke and pleased to say we are not smelling like a bonfire)played a game of pass the pigs and a couple of card games before coming in at 8.30, them to watch some primeval on DVD and me to wash up and tidy round,Al finished watering the veggies and then sat in front of the fire in the garden having a well deserved five minutes quiet thinking time.

Weekly catch up....

This week has flown by.We have enjoyed the weather and spent lot's of time in the garden both working and relaxing.Milly has requested lot's of reading and when possible I have managed to read whilst lying on a lounger catching the sun;-))

I had a blip over the last couple of days as my period finally arrived and after feeling loving and giving for quite a while,changed overnight into the fire breathing dragon with murderous mood swings and severe irritability.Not too proud of myself on occasions and feel guilty about my lack of patience and the burning need to be left alone.I hate that this keeps happening and that Emily ends up being the one that suffers,well actually not just Emily ,the relationship between the two of us also suffers....

Things we got up to this week.Or at least the things I can remember!!!

A nice quiet day at home on Monday, spent mostly in the garden.Milly has been really into story tapes and re reading the roman mysteries series and has turned down many suggestions to do other things,TV has played a very small role this week there have been many days she has not watched any at all. I have read a lot of one Roman Mystery book and when I have been unable to read for whatever reason she has put on the CD story of another roman mysteries tale and listened to that whilst swinging outside.

I went to my monthly meditation meeting on Tuesday.
Had a good natter and a short meditation, we really should meet more often then we might not have quite so much to talk about, what am I saying we would probably still spend the time chatting:-)) Emily spent time with Granny and Granddad and then we went to look after my nephew after school.

Home Ed group for a couple of hours on Wed lunchtime we took Milly's teenager friend with us while her mum and brother stayed home and then went back to her house with some of the others for a chat while the kids played in the garden.

Thursday I was due to have a tooth out but woke with a migraine probably brought on because I was panicking about having the tooth out!! Anyway I cancelled and will now have to wait till July to have it removed.Milly and I spent time in the garden when the headache had eased off a bit.Milly was very needy and kept asking me to read as we had got to an exciting part in the story, I was in a p***y mood and was not as kind as I could have been and we had a tetchy day.

Luckily feeling a little better on Friday, as we had arranged to go out with a friend and her two to The Heavy Horse centre. I drove and after a detour into town so we could both get some cash(both very unorganised people who often get places without a penny in our purses!!)we arrived in time for a carriage ride, not a heavy horse pulling this one but a nippy little pony in a small carriage, we loved the ride but it was even better when we got back in to the barn and it took off and cornered at speed, great fun!!!!Lunch in the cafe and the kids enjoyed playing in the playground and looking at the pigs, guinea pigs, rabbits and birds that were around there. The pigs were so cute and really chatty with lots of grunting;-)))
The proprietor then gave a talk as the different breeds were brought in to the barn. There were clydsdales,Shires,Percheron,Ardennes and the rare Suffolk Punch. They are amazing horses and the guy was a real character, so very entertaining. Then on to a large carriage pulled by two Clydesdales and the kids loved it. We then had a cuppa and a chat to the staff while the kids played in the park just outside the cafe.Back home in time for Emily to meet A off the school bus to go for tea at her house and then I went off shopping.

On my way back through the village I noticed some boys in the field behind a wall and as I passed they threw a large balloon filled with water that banged into the windscreen and burst,I was scared out of my wits and it could so easily have caused an accident, I pulled in to our drive ,they had obviously gone but had they been around I am not too sure I would have been able to contain my anger at such a stupid and dangerous stunt.
I was going to call the police but it would serve no purpose as I had no identification and they had gone from the scene.

Some time ago a family was moved into a local housing authority house and we heard real horror stories about drug dealing and stealing and the sons carrying knives . There was a village meeting to see if the decision could be reversed but it was too late as they had already been given the keys.At the time there was a lot of talk about giving them a chance.It has taken a few months but the behaviour of the two sons and their influence on the local teenagers has become a real problem and alongside drinking in the park til late at night playing loud music and leaving bottles etc strewn around, sleeping out in the play park and setting fire to the bandstand in the kids play area, they are terrorising people who have called the police out due to their anti social behaviour .It is getting out of hand and our small village has gone from a quiet and friendly place to one where you never know where the next damage is going to happen.I am going to report what happened but after attending meetings with the local community policeman we really are fighting a loosing battle,these kids are streetwise and know what little the police can actually do,it will just get added to the growing list of anti social behaviour that is being reported.

A couple of people in the village who work with youth offenders have set up a youth club type meeting on a Thursday evening and hope that through forming a relationship with them they will feel part of the community ,not victimised as they said they felt, because they were getting blamed for everything that went wrong. I think some of the teens involved may have got out of their depth and would be glad to step back from the trouble but the two boys with the alleged drug dealing father may not be as easy to persuade that being part of a community is a good thing to be. Time will tell, all I know is that as the lighter nights have arrived their presence on the streets has increased and the cars speeding through the village have also increased.

I had planned to take Emily out to a local small animal farm on Saturday but woke with another Migraine, I asked if she wanted to go and she said she did but wanted what was best for me, bless her. I had a bath but felt no better so had to get in to bed.She settled me in and got me extra blankets and pillows and decided she would get my lunch,it was 11.15 by now.She made her speciality toasted cheese sandwich,a mini flake, a bag of buttons, a bag of crisps and half an apple which she had cut and cored herself.I have to say as I was lying there I did debate whether I should go down to ensure there was no blood shed but decided that would do more harm than if she did cut herself!!! She did nick her finger but she was so proud of herself for looking after me. She apologised that it wasn’t the most healthy meal but I said that didn’t matter a jot and ate the lot.Al came home from work at two and I finally managed to get up at tea time and sat to watch Dr Who with them.

Today we went over to my sisters to meet Buttons the donkey, it was a family affair we drove my other sister and nephew over and Mum and dad came for lunch as well. Buttons is adorable, a chocolate brown colour with a white muzzle and so calm and placid.,Meg has softened toward him and now lets him sleep in the stable and will stand near him outside. My sister made a great lunch, then out near the donkey's in the field, to play badminton and Boule I had a game of Boule with Al ,then Emily and I had a game but she spent most of her time either with the donkeys or sitting on a high wall talking with Pan ( her daemon) she is listening to the Amber spyglass story tapes of the final part of the Northern lights trilogy and daemons are playing a large part in our lives again,not that they ever actually went away!!! She has not heard the second book yet but doesn't mind at all and said she will just get it from the library and either listen to tapes if they have them or we could read it to her.

Seeing red....

Over the last week we have had a bit of a garden makeover.
Another makeover has involved Emily and her hair colour.She has been talking for ages now about dying her hair red and I got some cheap wash out sachets and kept them in the bathroom but she never wanted to use them when it came to hair washing and they sat there for over two months until last week when she decided it was time to give it a go.



She loves the colour and says she looks like Ginny Weasly now;-))
I am going to get a natural henna dye to do it in future as the sachet we used washes out after three washes,I would much prefer not to be putting all those chemicals on her head, just need to do some research about henna.It will probably turn out to be more of an actual red shade than this is.Milly would like to go black but I will have to work up to that!!Strange that I find red hair easier to go for......

What a week that was.....

This has been a great week helped in no small part by the fantastic weather.Alan choose the right week to have off and he has enjoyed spending every day in the garden,however this has been no lounging around week,he was a man with a mission and never one to give less than 100% this is what he achieved in a little over 5 days.

This was the before picture looking from the side of the house around a month ago



Here is a similar view from the side showing the new table area and the border that has been cleared to make way for more veg to be planted.The fence has another rung on it as we wanted to make sure Beauty couldn't leap over at all, there is an area of the side garden that is not fenced and she has escaped over there once before when the gate was left open,and "surprised" a lovely couple and their Bishon frise....



How it used to look,a view from the shed across to the border.



Here it is now,there is Jasmine climbing up the tripods, parsley growing in the pots alongside lavender.Coriander and basil seeds freshly planted today in the silver planters.in the beds there are red onions,I will be sowing spring onions in between the rows, cut and come again lettuce,broccoli,parsnips and leaf beet.Netting over the top to stop my cat and others from"visiting".



This is what the view from the fence up into the garden used to look like.



Here it is now.The raised bed has beetroot and carrots in with space left to sow a few more in a couple of weeks.In the large bed( Alan had so many stones to dig out and had to barrow in 15 loads of compost/soil to get it looking like that) we will have peas,sugar snap peas.Green beans,a nice yellow bean my brother in law gave me to try,squash,sweetcorn,courgette,cucumber and aubergine,which are all at present doing great in my sun room.



And last but not least my rhubarb in a cosy spot at the top of the garden.



This all looks fabulous and Alan has been amazing to get this landscaping done.I have thoroughly enjoyed planting and sowing but the test will be exactly what will be produced by this novice gardener by the end of the growing season????
Fingers crossed;-))

Alongside this major job life has gone on at a frantic pace and Emily and I have been busier than ever.I will try to be brief but you may need to stock up with tea and biscuits if you are keen to read on;-))

Saturday,
Milly and I got the bus into Cockermouth to go to the Georgian Fair that's held every year.We used to travel by bus all the time before I started to drive again and we used to really enjoy our journeys,on this occasion I got off at the other end green and non too well.We had to nip in to our favourite pub for a rest and to order a bar meal,which I really enjoyed once I had had time to get over the bumpy ride.

Quite a few people dressed in the period and dancing and acting sketches going on in various parts of the town were quite interesting but overall I found it a little disappointing this year.

Sunday,
A lovely day at home with Alan,some gardening and Al and Emily took Beauty for a good walk.

Monday,
My sister and husband were away in Lanzarote and had asked us if we could spend some time with Meg as she was finding things tough without Strudle around,we jumped at the chance and decided we would go over to Carlisle and visit Tullie House Museum and go to the Spring fair in the park as well before going to see Meg and stay at my sisters overnight. Fabulous time in Tullie house, we went to lunch first and Emily choose to sit near the open french doors and was just in time to have a go at holding Meg the Harris Hawk.



We spent ages in the museum and enjoyed the natural history and animals(stuffed obviously,but very life like displays)in the section on the water life in Cumbrian rivers and other wildlife displays.We didn't have much time left to see the exhibition about Carlisle history and the roman display amongst many others so we had to rush around a bit so we could get to the park before the time was up on the car and my time was up in the energy dept...
We will have to visit again,yeah a museum Emily wants to spend time in!!!
On to the park and we missed going to the spring show as at the play park, the water park and huge sandpit took preference......

When we got to my sisters Meg looked so sad and she just went wherever we did and when we sat on the bench in her field she just stayed with us:-( We gave her far too many carrots and Emily groomed her to within an inch of her life:-)) Meg loved the attention, even the chickens seemed to sense her loneliness and never strayed far from her side.There were three sheep in the field with her that their farmer friend had put in for company as well. Luckily the weather was fabulous.We spent the night and then the next day the vet came to take some blood from Meg and Emily was fascinated to see the process and the lovely young lady vet talked her through what was happening.Meg is getting a new buddy on Monday, a sprightly 19 year old male called buttons is travelling up from the donkey sanctuary in Devon on Monday,fingers crossed they like each other...

Tuesday
Back home in the afternoon for a visit to Rezwanna for Emily.She had a Massage and reflexology,along with some Angel healing and fell in love with Rezwanna.I was also shown some massage techniques to help clear Emily's sinus's, she is having a lot of headaches because of the congestion.
Nice to be home and relax...

Wednesday
Got up in the morning and was having a leisurely breakfast at nine thinking about getting things ready to go to home ed group at 12 when I suddenly remembered we were going with the group to a clay workshop over near Keswick and would have to be there around 11!!! I had not received an e mail with the directions though so had to contact a friend, who was luckily still at home, and got them then set about throwing a picnic together and heading off.
Great place, making things with clay outside under the shade of some trees, picnic in the field near a river where the kids played,fabulous and we get to go back in June to glaze them :-))

Thursday
Usual day today helping at the food coop,Emily and two other home eddded friends had a great time playing in the sunshine and then home in the garden for the afternoon.

Friday
Alan and Emily went off for a picnic to Mirehouse which has great gardens with a play area with assault course type equipment and lots of lovely gardens and walks.Back home for tea and play with best friend A,whilst I went shopping.

saturday
We had a family day out to Muncaster castle and had a picnic and a walk,I did some of the walk and then sat out in front of the Castle with fantastic views and Heron flying around, it was very relaxing.

Sunday
We were due to go off to Rannerdale to see the Bluebells but I was exhausted and we decided to stay home and after a lazy start set too on the last little bit of gardening to finish in the side garden.Emily was a little under the weather and subdued and found it hard to find things to keep herself amused so I would read to her for a bit then head off and give Al instructions before reading a little more.I got to do a little sunbathing as I was reading and I was lying on the lounger so can't complain too much;-))

Phew back on track,not keen on marathon post writing so will attempt to post as usual each day but realy did not have any time or inclination last week.........

Choices choices choices

Hello again,I have been sooooooo busy I have had to make choices where to use my limited energy and unfortunately blogging came at the bottom of the list....

I hope to do a post this evening to catch up on all that has gone on,if not I hope things will get back to normal tommorow when Alan goes back to work;-))

Good friends,playdates,fall outs and garden bliss.

I have finally managed to spend some "real" time in the veg garden.Since I last wrote about the plans we have to turn the whole of the side garden over to veg and fruit over the next couple of years, the weather has been terrible and on the dry days I have always been doing something else and had no energy left to start in the garden.

Well today everything slotted together nicely;-))

I was hanging my washing out this morning and I heard Milly saying hello to someone,my initial instinct was to dive into the shrubbery,I had just got out of the shower and my hair was fluffy and spiky without the aid of wax and I had no makeup on and the oldest and baggiest pair of joggers I own,so looking really good the last thing I needed was to have to talk to someone, but that was exactly what I was going to have to do:-(

Luckily it was my good friend and her kids walking past and she was in a similarly elegant state.She had her hood up to hide the fact her hair hadn't yet been washed and she had no make up on so we made a great pair.We chatted for ages while the kids sat at the front and played,and then they invited Emily to go round to play on their allotment for an hour after lunch,which is just what she did.While she was away I decided to have half an hour in the garden,oh what bliss to be out in the sun with my hands in the soil.

I was due to go and meet A off the school bus with Emily and then stay at her house with them till her mum got home from college.Just as I was about to set off L my friend rang to say she was back early and had seen Emily at the allotments and she could stay with her and I didn't need to go to the bus stop. YAHOOO, I then managed to plant seeds,carrots,beetroot,cut and come again lettuce, fill some tubs with parsley and lavender, plant some thyme in the gravel area and prepare another raised bed for planting,and sit in the back garden for 15 minutes just day dreaming listening to the birds and loving every minute.

Alan came home from work and after a quick breather set about clearing a large bed in the side garden of very established herbaceous planting, a really tough back breaking job,necessary though as that is where our sweetcorn,pots, rhubarb,beans,peas, and broccoli will be going.We managed to have a row over where he should put all the plants( we have tried very hard to give them away but no takers)he was piling them up at the top of the garden, behind some trellis that started off 9 years ago as our compost area, but rapidly became a hellhole with any crap from the garden dumped up there.In my mind not the best thing to add more crap up there,I voiced my opinion and narky pants took offence and downed tools and took the dog for a walk......

Whilst he was gone I sorted the problem,and when he got back explained that we could pile it in the side garden and take it to the tip next week when he is off.He had to question whether they would take it at the tip of course,then admitted it was a sensible idea,so back on speaking terms again we carried on;-))

We got a lot done and by the time Emily got home at seven we were both on our last legs!!!!But oh the sense of acheivment,I love our garden.

You are a Hippie

You are a total hippie. While you may not wear birks or smell of incense, you have the soul of a hippie. You don't trust authority, and you do as you please. You're willing to take a stand, even when what you believe isn't popular. You like to experiment with ideas, lifestyles, and different subcultures. You always gravitate toward what's radical and subversive. Normal, mainstream culture doesn't really resonate with you.

Are You a Hippie?

Found at Enjoy the journey
How funny, I always felt I had a hippie spirit and now at 47 it seems I am finally living a hippie lifestyle;-))

Cops and Robbers

Had a really great day visiting some friends this afternoon after a nice quiet start to the day.Milly didn't wake til 10am,she has had three late nights on the trot and obviously needed to catch up ;-))

We set off around 11.30 to go to Morrison's to pick up The Golden Compass DVD that was out today and have some lunch and then I did something I don't do much of and left my comfort zone and drove somewhere I have not driven before.Having chronic fatigue meant I didn't drive for over 12 years and when I started again a couple of years ago it was just trips to the school and back and I have gradually extended the length of journey and was a little nervous today but coped well and got us there and back in one piece.

Milly has watched the film and we have spent quite a bit of time together on the PC, she put on her favourite clips on U tube and was air drumming along to Nickleback's Rock star and The Hoosiers cops and robbers.She attempted to get Beauty to dance with her to the Hoosiers but the pooch was in a bit of a crazy mood and just got way too excited,however,undaunted Milly kept on jigging and said in all seriousness "Beauty this is by far my favourite song" and continued to strut around the room.My 80's dance moves were looked on with scorn and she redoubled her effort to show me what real dance moves were;-)) I do love to see her dance with such abandon, dancing free, as she calls it.Milly had asked me to put the Hoosiers clip on here so you could watch it but I have failed to find out how to put a u tube clip on, so when I have time I will look that up and attempt to add that skill to my growing repertoire...

Experimentation of a different kind.

Fridays sleepover went off well,I did get a little annoyed at 11.30 when I went up to go to bed as they were talking very loudly and Al had to get up at 7 for work so I went in and reminded them again, then requested they keep their voices down and that if I had to come back in again I would not be very impressed,five minutes later all was quiet and they were fast asleep.It really wouldn't be a problem if their room was at the other end of the house but it isn't and Al really needs his beauty sleep ;-)).
A had to leave at 9.30 for her gymnastic lesson so after she had left we had a breather and decided that the planned activity, spending the day sorting toy boxes,was not something either of us wanted to do, so that job got put on the back burner and Milly said she would like to listen to her story CD whilst I washed up and hoovered around.

When I had finished I looked over and she had got down the drawing book I bought for Xmas(it is a step by step guide but proved to be too advanced for Milly at that time and she just got frustrated) she had a go at drawing a mermaid picture that she had wanted to draw at Christmas and although she didn't follow the steps she did draw the mermaid in her own style,she then cut round the drawing and stuck it on the wall in the dining room.She was very happy with the end product,and from my point of view it was good to see her using the book to guide her and not getting upset that her end product didn't look like the one in the book.

As she was listening to the tape and drawing another picture I started to take out some shaving foam and cornflour from the craft cupboard and got a mixing bowl and then put a cover on the table.It was at that point that she asked me what I was doing and I said I had a few things she might like to experiment with.I explained what I used cornflour for but said that I thought she might like to see what happened when water was added to it.Well she loved it and was amused for over an hour,experimenting in her own inimitable fashion.I had bought the things months ago and we had used the shaving foam once before to do some "painting" with and she enjoyed that but then I forgot about them and just remembered yesterday when I was thinking of things to do since we had the whole day to let things develop.






She added paint and normal flour to it and kept it out all afternoon and would just keep going back to it to add more to it or just to squidge it about.The top she is wearing( to be precise the top that is falling off her) was given to her by her 14 year old friend who no longer wanted it and although it is about 3 sizes too big for her she loves it and I have had to talk her out of actually leaving the house in it before!!

When Emily was squidging I went onto a website I had found a link to(sorry I can't remember the blog it came from)Steve Spangler Science,and found lots and lots of new experiments to do,some I have heard of before some I haven't I also like the fact you can watch a video clip of quite a lot of the experiments.

At some point in the afternoon Milly went to the top of the garden to sit at the grave of her rabbit Liz who died recently.It was pouring with rain but she put on her waterproof coat and sat out for 15 Min's or more and came in to tell me she had told Liz a funny story she had made up.

Den habits,science mishaps and another sleepover.

Milly was in her den a few nights ago,this den is under a lovely shrub near the fence between our garden and the neighbours.The shrub is so large and there is a cavity underneath where she can set up her little hideaway, she takes out our fabric box and lays them out on the ground,when you look in you can see the beautiful furs and satins and silky materials it is like the inside of a well appointed Bedouin tent:-))She takes cushions and there is even a conveniently positioned branch so she can hang her bag on and she will get in there and snuggle down sometimes drawing, sometimes with a friend,sometimes under a blanket just thinking and relaxing.Last time she was under there our neighbour saw her and was chatting to her and gave her a lovely red frilly tulip, today Milly noticed that it had opened right up and I suggested she might like to take a photo of it, and here it is.....

We have had a day at home today and managed a couple of science experiments, I had looked for simple things to do in the Usborne pocket science books but Milly had meant she wanted to do some from the chemistry kit she got for Christmas so that is what we did.Food science experiments followed making a FEHLINGS solution to test for the presence of sugar using the spirit burner, just followed the instructions but ended up with a blackened test tube, I fear we went one step too far!!!Milly held the test tube with the tongs this time though and wasn't put off with the first attempt so we went on to do one more experiment and then called it a day.I think she would have enjoyed the ones I had lined up for us but perhaps another day.

We drew together and chatted and had another Daemon meeting(quite a lengthy one as Milly really got into this one) and my daemon Chimung has been told to change shape at least once a day for his own well being,whenever Milly asks me during the day what Chimung is I always say monkey as I am usually not in the right zone and forget she likes them to change hence the new ruling!!!! Just got to get a few options in my head now so as not to disappoint when I am next interrogated;-))

As I was on the phone to my sister ,poor old Strudle the donkey is going to be put to sleep some time over the next few days awwwww :-( Milly drew a fabulous picture of a turtle(our friend M bought her a velvety soft toy turtle at the aquarium yesterday) I would put a picture up but she wants to keep that one private.I was really impressed with the detail and the speed she drew it,when Milly was at school and for a long time afterwards she tended to draw the same thing for a very long time, you know fairy's, mermaids so on.As her confidence has grown she is tackling all sorts of subjects sometimes with frustration but mainly just having a go and it makes me so happy to see.She also did a canvas acrylic painting of the turtle in the sea which she wants to send to her friends Aunt and her girlfriend as an engagement present.

I did the shopping online while Milly listened to (you guessed it) a Lemony Snicket story CD and practised her cutting and other bits and bobs.Then we picked up A for tea which has now turned into another sleepover,I am a sucker for puppy eyes and hands clasped pleading;-)) They are watching Stardust at present having spent time at the park and lots of time "just chatting" in the bedroom on the mattresses on the floor in Milly's room.

Tomorrow our plan is to get the toy storage boxes down from Milly's room and sort them out, oh joy, what a way to spend a day.Plans can and do change easily though this job has been put off so many times over the last three weeks.......

Thursday Treat.

We have had an excellent day today.We met up with an old friend who has known Emily since she was 8 months old and is like another grandmother to her.We took her out for lunch to the Aquarium.I picked her up and drove, she always sits in the back with Emily and chats away to her.

When we got there she asked me to sit down at the table whilst she ordered the food and then asked if Emily would like to help her.So the two of them went up and I could see that the lady behind the counter was speaking to Emily but couldn't hear what she said.Emily came back first and when M came back she was beaming.She said the lady had asked Emily if she was enjoying her day off school(teachers strike)and Emily had answered that she didn't go to school but was home educated and had then helped M to remember what was to be ordered for food and had thanked the lady.The reason M was beaming was because the lady behind the counter had commented how polite and well behaved Emily was and what a pleasant change it was.

We had lunch and went round the Aquarium and managed to see an octopus in the process of eating a crab, it was right up against the glass and we got a great view,pretty nasty way to go though, being injected with poison which turns you to a soup, then been sucked out of your shell!!!

I dropped Milly off to spend some time with M and picked her up later on, she didn't want to come home,the two of them had had a great time.We have arranged that Emily will spend alternate Thursdays with M and my sister on the other.

We got home and Milly went on her swing while Al dug up a load of shrubs from the side garden where we are extending the veg plot and transplanted them in the back garden.

I haven't had photo's on for a while,so I thought I would share a few random ones with you.

This is one of Milly today before we went out to pick up M. She had put on glitter lip gloss and some blusher and was looking very funky with her hat on.



She is holding a girl she had drawn called charly,she had painstakingly cut round the drawing as I read The last part of The mill girl to her this morning.



Here is a close up of Charly



Some time ago I had tried to get a bed cover made for Beauty's bed using Milly's miniature sewing machine but the thing wouldn't work properly;-( Last time my Mum (who spent many years as a seamstress making wedding dresses)was here she discovered it was because the cotton wasn't going through a certain hoop and the cotton was breaking.So it's fixed and I have been busy making said dog bed cover.Kinda proud of myself it has to be said;-))




Milly typing out a note one day this week still in her pj's but with the added touch of fingerless gloves!!!

Milly's update.

Milly has updated her blogs Golden daemons and My pets.It is quite some time since she posted but last night (after me just finishing writing how she is normally in bed and asleep by 9!!!!) she had decided not to go to bed early and after watching Grease with Al she went up to play at 9 while he got in a shower then came down and went on the PC while I was watching The apprentice and came to tell me she had posted.She then decided she was just too tired to wait up for me and went up about 10.She asked if I could let people know she had added to her blog,the info is something she hasn't wanted me to post about and she is obviously now ready to share it, so If you feel able pop along and read her news I know she would appreciate it xx

Changing phases.

Home ed group today, had a nice chat and the kids had a good play.Then off to my friends house with a couple of the other mums, we have got a book club going and discussed titles to read over the coming months.I prefer to read last thing at night as I find it difficult to switch off during the day( if by any chance I got a spare moment to pick up a book !!) and as my little bed mate is usually asleep I will have to get myself one of those little lights that fit on a book and I will get into the habit of reading a little each night again.

Milly has asked to do some science on Friday so I have just looked up some simple experiments we can do that are quick to set up and it won't matter if she changes her mind as I have not had to go to great lengths to prepare.It is a long time between now and then and things change so quickly and it may be that Friday comes along and something else will be favoured.Friday is the only day we have the time to do anything as we are out again tomorrow for lunch and a trip around the aquarium with a Friend and will probably end up spending most of the afternoon with her.I am hoping the school strike doesn't mean hoards of people will have the same idea about visiting the aquarium.

Milly and I started the day by having a cuppa and a read in bed which is something we haven't done for quite some time and then we got up and Milly put the TV on as I made breakfast.The programmes she normally likes to watch were on but after a few minutes she decided to watch a DVD instead, she was talking about the Dr who DVD we had on the bookcase and I thought she was going to watch that one but then I heard the music from The Way things Work and was pleasantly surprised.This DVD has been watched a couple of times last summer and has sat on the bookcase in the sun room or has been strategically placed by me to encourage her to view it again, cos of course it is "educational" as well as entertaining,needless to say my placement of it has always gone unnoticed and I gave up and accepted she was learning whatever she chose to watch and here we are today, she got it down because she wanted to watch it herself and she enjoyed three of the stories and although she had said initially she was going to watch all of it she then turned off the TV and came through to sit with me at the table, where I adapted the fastening on her bag so she could fit her journal in ,her bag was made with my sister on one of their Thursday sewing sessions and now goes everywhere with her and has her most treasured possessions in.

Some time ago I posted about the amount of TV Milly was choosing to watch, I felt confident based on past experience that if I left her to choose she would go through that phase and move on and it seems that is now happening,she is still watching some TV but is choosing more often to do other things and TV is not an issue because she knows she could watch it whenever she wants to.I love giving her the freedom to make her own choices and as time goes on I feel myself relaxing more and more and not worrying about the amount of time she spends watching TV or listening to story tapes, even though it seems she is neglecting other areas.When she is ready she moves on.

We have no set rules about bedtime and have gradually allowed her to make decisions about when she goes to bed.Initially she had some late nights and got very tired and we had some challenging times and behaviour but gradually we have got to the stage where late nights have lost their appeal and Emily knows when she is tired and at present,except for when friends sleep over she usually chooses to go up before 9 and on quite a few occasions is asleep for 8.

Allowing Milly more freedom over her food choices is harder for us and we still haven't been able to fully let go of control in this area.Change has happened and I see a gradual loosening of the reins,rather than a total letting go immediately, probably more for our benefit than anything to do with Emily,but that is the way we feel comfortable and for this change in lifestyle to work properly we all have to feel comfortable.The move from traditional Parenting/schooling to Radical unschooling (to use a label)doesn't feel as far away as it did a year ago.We have managed to do it at our own pace and are growing into it and it feels good.Now obviously any change and growth causes moments of doubt but instead of panic setting in about what we are doing, I now see these as opportunity's to assess where we are going and to see if we are still on the right path and so far the answer has been most definitely yes........

Bratz bargains,deals to keep and writing frustrations.

It has been a glorious sunny day and we have spent a great part of the day out in the garden,managing to eat both lunch and tea out although it was a little nippy at 5.30 when we were eating tea;-))

We had to go into the hospital yesterday for Emily to see the paediatrician and then went shopping and had lunch out.We went into Home bargains to see if they had the blank canvas's in so Emily can create some more masterpieces( they didn't but poundland did;-) )Emily found a bratz pixie called Sasha that she has been hankering after and it was " a bargain price of only 9.99 " I was informed!! She suggested she would do odd jobs for people to earn the money for it if I lent it to her,I did so and today she had to keep to her end of the bargain:-( Not a happy bunny when she woke and remembered her deal.

So today the car has been washed, with a little help from a friend :-) I felt a bit of a party pooper though as she wanted to have a bit of a water fight but unlike her father I am not keen on getting soaked.After lunch she decided to clean her trampoline down,we have two rooks nesting in the trees in the back garden and they are making an almighty mess!!!She scrubbed and sung and scrubbed some more before asking for some assistance and then my Mum and Dad and I sprang into action and assisted in the final push;-))
Last summer we used to get the hose out and Beauty loved to chase the water around and bark as she played, great fun then but a tad annoying when you are trying to clean the car and she can't understand why she can't get out from the side garden and chase the water and is barking to let you know about her frustrations!!I made sure she got her fill of jumping around in the water and getting soaked after we cleaned the car but will remember to keep her in the house next time,it is so funny she just has to hear the outside tap hiss and she legs it to get to the hose ;-))
Milly is going to think of some more jobs that need doing to earn the rest of the money....

We had an appointment to see our Homeopath this afternoon and managed to pick up a few plants and veg for the plot from Wilkinson's along with a watch for Emily,she had a watch but it stopped working a while ago and she hasn't been interested in wearing one til now and a reporters notepad as she is wanting to be a journalist when she grows up.That reminds me she was going to interview me when we got home(the headline she had put down was Arty Mother I think) however when she got home she remembered her trampoline was now clean and decided to go bouncing.

We had a bit of a melt down last night.Over the last few weeks Milly has been writing in a journal she has started and is choosing to write short amounts more and more and I had thought she was quite content to go along slowly.However, we watched Miss Potter last night and afterwards she was keen to get out a sketch pad and paints and set about drawing Beauty and to write a story about her, within minutes she was tearing up the paper and stabbing the pencil in the table and was really angry which then turned to tears and wails of why can't I write, I'll never be able to write.It was hard to watch and I don't think I handled things as well as I could of,I was tired and got angry when she started stabbing the pen down and regretted it immediately as it stopped the behaviour but also stopped her getting it out,I should of just done what we have done on other occasions and punched some cushions and had a good scream which helps her to get back on an even keel.We went to bed together and she seemed much better this morning.We talked about it and I said I felt I hadn't handled her anger very well and that it was OK to be angry but there were better ways to deal with it than damaging the table and she accepted that but suggested that next time instead of raising my voice I should just stay calm and encourage her to calm down and we could punch some cushions!!!

The first thing Emily wanted to do this morning was to write a story about the Bratz pixies,she asked me to write her words which I did and although it is not ideal for her she likes to see her story written out.When she writes herself she reduces the words she uses because it takes so long for her to write but when I write it she narrates beautiful intricate stories.We have talked about the possibility of recording the stories on a tape and then Alan or I typing them out and she did mention that again so I will look into it and see if it would be a viable option.I have also thought about the voice recognition software you can get for PCs but need to find out more about them.

When she was at school she was frustrated because she had no options and had to write whatever was set in the lesson and she felt so out of her depth and unsupported.I think she has become frustrated now because she is really wanting to record her thoughts and ideas and she sees her friends writing effortlessly in their journals and her limitations have been highlighted. It is a really positive thing that she is wanting to record things and we just need to ease the process so she doesn't get disheartened,she is such a perfectionist and is so hard on herself.She doesn't want to practice writing or spellings and I don't think for one moment that is the right way to go,she needs to go at her own pace but it is hard for her to believe that she will get there,she doesn't see the improvement in her writing and spelling since leaving school she just knows she has difficulty and that it makes her unhappy and hurts her hands:-(

Saturday,shopping and trashy TV...

A series of unfortunate events story Cd's are still the flavour of the moment and alongside listening to them she has been practising her cutting by chopping paper/card into little pieces,drawing, making necklaces, writing bit's in her journal,most of the morning was spent downstairs until she got in a shower to wash her hair,then she decided she would like to lay in bed and listen to the Cd's so more of the same happening upstairs,she has drawn a really lovely picture of a girl using biro with lots of different shading and direction of the pen strokes and she has been sorting out the side of her bed and clearing out toys that she no longer wants there.I spent some time with her but basically she was happy to be on her own, so I got on with housework.We managed to tidy her room up together and I think we have found a way to keep on top of it that works for us,I will write another post on that when I have more time.

When Al came home from work I had to go shopping and when he went out into the garden to get on with a few landscaping jobs, she choose to stay in.

I whizzed around the shops and then back home to put it all away, then quickly get Milly a baked pot with ham, tuna and cheese this is her favourite meal and the plate was emptied.I had found an Animal book in Tescos and read it to her as she was eating, and then she said she would go back up til Dr Who started, so off she went with a Calipo lolly and a skip in her step,I wish I lived her life;-))

I am going to get into PJs and pop a pizza in for Al and I then Dr Who will be on followed by I'll do anything, Britains got talent and Pushing Daisys so Milly and I are sorted for the evening,Al will watch Dr Who with us and then come through here to watch something on the other side or read, he dosen't share our love of what some call trashy TV.......

Sniffles and snuggles

The energy of the last few days has wained and we had to rearrange our plans and instead of a visit to the aquarium and the play park and fish and chips to eat, we have spent today quietly at home.I had a headache and felt as though a head cold was coming on and Milly woke up with a headache,I think she was really in need of a day at home as we have been quite busy each day this week.

We pottered this morning,Milly listening to more Lemony Snicket story Cd's whilst she drew and did other bits and pieces, not taking me up on any of my offers to play games, read to her,or any of the other things I suggested so I got on with some household jobs and then helped her to make a card for a friends sister who is having a party tonight to celebrate her engagement to her girlfriend. Around 12 when I began to feel quite weak I asked if she would like to bring the duvets down and snuggle on the floor in the sun room and watch a DVD so we did just that.I managed to stay awake(just) through Father of the bride 2 and then we have just sat in the dining room together, me on the computer and sending off some postcards then putting some stickers in the Primevil sticker book for her and Milly doing lots of bits and bobs including drawing,listening to CD's(she often tells me what the next line will be or what is going to happen in the story and I am constantly amazed at how many small details she remembers from them, having only listened to them once before) and whittling a pencil down,and creating a few tunes on the keyboard.She has been up and down to look for various soft toy animals and we have been talking about our daemons and what they are up to.

Off to get a very quick tea put together then an early night beckons......

Friends worth their weight in gold....

Bit sluggish today after a busy day yesterday and a late night watching The Apprentice and then some blog browsing.

Off to the food coop to help out and had a good natter while Emily had a good play,we hardly saw each other and we were in the same space!! Her and her little friend were up in the attic area playing Harry Potter and played beautifully and happily together.

Home for lunch and then on to drop Emily off at my sisters for a couple of hours, where they were going to finish off the blanket they had started a couple of weeks ago with a scene on the front of a rabbit in a spring garden,using felt and glue so no sewing today.They also managed a trip to the park and a walk to the shop and my sister read to her from a lovely book with classic tales in a comic form, they read Oliver twist and Emily wanted to continue on to A tale of two cities, so they will read that next time.

I picked her up from my sisters and dropped her off at best friend A's house for tea and left them as they were about to walk to the park together.We started letting them go off to the park in the village last summer and they really love the little Independence it gives them.I came home and had a cuppa and chat with Al( two uninterrupted chats in two days ,not often that happens now Milly is going to bed later!!) before he went out to paint yet more of the garden furniture,I think this was the last lounger he had to do.He has gone out for a walk with Beauty and I am prepping tea and writing out the menu's for next week and a shopping list,well obviously not right now, cos I decided a break was in order and thought I would get a post done early again.

When Emily was at my sisters I sent a few e mails and got a few jobs done and then I phoned a friend, she is a lady who helped us out when Emily was younger and I had Post Natal Depression on top of the Chronic Fatigue.She volunteers for Barnardos and they have a scheme to help in the home and she came to us when Emily was eight months old and stayed until she went to nursery,when she had to officially finish.She helped out 3 times a week for a couple of hours a time,she always stayed past the time she was due to leave and gave me so much more than time to rest, she taught me what it means to be a Mum.I adore her. Emily and her have a fabulous relationship.She would not thank me for broadcasting her age but she is past retirement age and is the most elegant woman I know, she seems to have boundless energy and just adores children and most important really respects children.Her working life has been spent as a teacher,she came into my life when I really needed a friend and I am glad to say she still is and teaches me something every time I get together with her,she is supportive and encouraging loving and kind and boosts my self esteem enormously, what more could I ask for ;-))We have not seen enough of each other recently and are getting together next Thursday for lunch,Emily wants to take her to the Aquarium and to have lunch there.

Time is getting on now, I have started the prawn Thai red curry for tea and will go and pick Milly up at 6.45 and then Al and I will eat.Not too sure what is happening tonight,I was hoping to get out in the garden for a short while ( after a slow start my energy levels are remarkably high just now, the massage has really helped I think) but as it is pouring down it is more likely we will play a game or something,Come dine with me is on tonight and Emily likes that so we may end up watching that at eight......