Friday, 31 July 2009
Looking after Mumma..
I had a really bad headache and Milly suggested I should drink plenty of water and eat something to help clear it.No sooner said,than off she went and came back with an apple,(cored)iced water and a peeled banana:-)
Makes sense to me....
"You know you are face-to-face with the unfinished business of your own childhood when you respond with strong negative feelings to your child's behavior." (Hendrix and Hunt, 1997)
A quote taken from a thread on radical unschooling with LOA.Added to my wish list.....
A quote taken from a thread on radical unschooling with LOA.Added to my wish list.....
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Changing pool plans and Tent decisions
Plans for the pool have changed.We decided that the area at the top was not suitable.It was going to take far too much effort to level it enough to put the pool on.H has said she will be happy to take it back and sell it, so nothing lost.We will now get a smaller one that we can place nearer the house but without the risk of flooding the neighbours!
One good thing is that we decided it wouldn't take as much to get it level enough to start the work on a new patio:-)We will take down the old trellis that is being held up by some overgrown Ivy and re landscape,open up the top area of the garden.This is where we get the sun most of the day.One ton of sand is delivered tomorrow,so no excuses,we will have to get on with it:-)We are using some slabs we already have in the garden and some gravel we have leftover from a project last year.We also have some large stones from an old stone wall that was near the house and was dismantled for the sun room to go up.
Over the last few weeks I have spent a great deal of time researching tents.
Bearing in mind I have never camped,apart from a week in Wooler with the school when I was 14 and then only because I fancied one of the boys that was going(he looked so much like Donny Osmond!!).
I don't have many good memories about it. I do remember being very cold and damp a great deal of the time and hated the night time trips to the loo.So why camping?Emily finds being away from home and her pets quite difficult to do, so would not be keen to go away often without them and at least this way we could take Beauty most of the time.The tent set up would be a home from home for her and I think as a family it will benefit us all to just get away from the routine and to spend time away from home,to shake us up a little and to try new things.We won't have to travel far initially.We live in a beautiful part of the country and there are so many great places to visit and camping within an hour of home will open up the whole lake district.
I have been saving up throughout the year with a view to going to Greece next year.When we looked at the prices to go for two weeks, we began to question spending thousands of pounds on a couple of weeks in the sun.Much as I love the long sunny days I found it harder and harder to justify spending that kind of money on one trip.Buying a tent and equipment will mean we can go for 4 night breaks every 5 weeks or so and then a couple of weeks in the summer.We aim to go camping in France eventually and who knows maybe even a road trip to Greece could be planned:-)
One of the biggest decisions was whether to go for a smaller weekend type tent with less space or get a bigger tent that would be comfortable and have space to "live" inside as well as sleep.We decided to opt for a bigger tent with all the room we would need to have a comfortable stay in our Great British climate,with the likelihood we would get a smaller weekend tent to go away in if we get the bug:-)We wanted something that would have enough room for us and Emily,Beauty (dog) and a friend or two.Having been in Michelle's Vermont L I knew that the space and attention to detail were the things that were going to make a camping trip comfortable and therefore stand a chance of doing it again:-)
Someone at Al's work was selling an Outwell tent with great living space and three bed pods.Initially to my inexperienced eye it sounded and looked great.I went on to the Outwell site to look in detail.Then Michelle gave me a link to a camping forum and I began to see the light:-)
I loved the space it had but it was very spread out and there were lots of little details that it was missing. The ideal for me was to have an area of enclosed porch to come in to dry off in wet weather and store all the clutter of wet things.I wanted mesh to keep out the bugs and also a good sized living area.
We visited a camping showroom in Keswick to get a feel for different tents,both Alan and I were really impressed with a Robens poly cotton tent but it didn't have all the space we would need,and no enclosed porch area.Back home and lots of research later we narrowed it down to the Outwell Vermont XL and The Norfolk lake poly cotton tent.Still couldn't make a decision and spent many nights searching all the different tent manufacturers websites and the forum tent reviews just to be sure.Whilst browsing the forum site(admit to becoming addicted!)I found so many useful reviews about equipment and LOVED the fact that I could see other peoples tents set up.There wasn't a question that I had that hadn't already been answered.
So here we are, having decided that poly cotton would be the best for us, especially with future plans to go abroad, but wavering slightly about the weight of it,especially if it has to be packed wet,which in the present climate looks quite likely.We would have enough room (just) in the garden to pitch it again to dry it if needed but Alan isn't keen on the "faf" as he calls it.He is slowly coming round to the idea and I have left it up to him to read some of the reviews and get a feel for what camping could give us outside the"faf" ;-)
It is a great deal of money but we would have spent twice the amount on a holiday abroad and we can use the tent for many years to come.Having sourced a Norfolk lake online I am just waiting for Alan to mull things over and for me to just do a little more checking to ensure we do have the right tent!!!
One good thing is that we decided it wouldn't take as much to get it level enough to start the work on a new patio:-)We will take down the old trellis that is being held up by some overgrown Ivy and re landscape,open up the top area of the garden.This is where we get the sun most of the day.One ton of sand is delivered tomorrow,so no excuses,we will have to get on with it:-)We are using some slabs we already have in the garden and some gravel we have leftover from a project last year.We also have some large stones from an old stone wall that was near the house and was dismantled for the sun room to go up.
Over the last few weeks I have spent a great deal of time researching tents.
Bearing in mind I have never camped,apart from a week in Wooler with the school when I was 14 and then only because I fancied one of the boys that was going(he looked so much like Donny Osmond!!).
I don't have many good memories about it. I do remember being very cold and damp a great deal of the time and hated the night time trips to the loo.So why camping?Emily finds being away from home and her pets quite difficult to do, so would not be keen to go away often without them and at least this way we could take Beauty most of the time.The tent set up would be a home from home for her and I think as a family it will benefit us all to just get away from the routine and to spend time away from home,to shake us up a little and to try new things.We won't have to travel far initially.We live in a beautiful part of the country and there are so many great places to visit and camping within an hour of home will open up the whole lake district.
I have been saving up throughout the year with a view to going to Greece next year.When we looked at the prices to go for two weeks, we began to question spending thousands of pounds on a couple of weeks in the sun.Much as I love the long sunny days I found it harder and harder to justify spending that kind of money on one trip.Buying a tent and equipment will mean we can go for 4 night breaks every 5 weeks or so and then a couple of weeks in the summer.We aim to go camping in France eventually and who knows maybe even a road trip to Greece could be planned:-)
One of the biggest decisions was whether to go for a smaller weekend type tent with less space or get a bigger tent that would be comfortable and have space to "live" inside as well as sleep.We decided to opt for a bigger tent with all the room we would need to have a comfortable stay in our Great British climate,with the likelihood we would get a smaller weekend tent to go away in if we get the bug:-)We wanted something that would have enough room for us and Emily,Beauty (dog) and a friend or two.Having been in Michelle's Vermont L I knew that the space and attention to detail were the things that were going to make a camping trip comfortable and therefore stand a chance of doing it again:-)
Someone at Al's work was selling an Outwell tent with great living space and three bed pods.Initially to my inexperienced eye it sounded and looked great.I went on to the Outwell site to look in detail.Then Michelle gave me a link to a camping forum and I began to see the light:-)
I loved the space it had but it was very spread out and there were lots of little details that it was missing. The ideal for me was to have an area of enclosed porch to come in to dry off in wet weather and store all the clutter of wet things.I wanted mesh to keep out the bugs and also a good sized living area.
We visited a camping showroom in Keswick to get a feel for different tents,both Alan and I were really impressed with a Robens poly cotton tent but it didn't have all the space we would need,and no enclosed porch area.Back home and lots of research later we narrowed it down to the Outwell Vermont XL and The Norfolk lake poly cotton tent.Still couldn't make a decision and spent many nights searching all the different tent manufacturers websites and the forum tent reviews just to be sure.Whilst browsing the forum site(admit to becoming addicted!)I found so many useful reviews about equipment and LOVED the fact that I could see other peoples tents set up.There wasn't a question that I had that hadn't already been answered.
So here we are, having decided that poly cotton would be the best for us, especially with future plans to go abroad, but wavering slightly about the weight of it,especially if it has to be packed wet,which in the present climate looks quite likely.We would have enough room (just) in the garden to pitch it again to dry it if needed but Alan isn't keen on the "faf" as he calls it.He is slowly coming round to the idea and I have left it up to him to read some of the reviews and get a feel for what camping could give us outside the"faf" ;-)
It is a great deal of money but we would have spent twice the amount on a holiday abroad and we can use the tent for many years to come.Having sourced a Norfolk lake online I am just waiting for Alan to mull things over and for me to just do a little more checking to ensure we do have the right tent!!!
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Pool Prep...
We have been lucky enough to get a pool like this from a friend.She had only used it once and decided it was not safe enough in her garden as the only place she could put it was on a patio right near her new garden lodge worth £8.000.She was not keen on the idea of an accident happening and the edge of the pool being fallen on and the gallons of water flooding her garden lodge...
We bought it at a very good price and Alan set about leveling off this area of the garden.
It is near the house for the cable from the filter and is sunny most of the day(if we ever get anymore this year!)He pulled up the membrane and spent a long afternoon putting barrow loads of soil on to level it. He pulled back the membrane and then the next couple of days rained so we didn't get the pool set up.We then had a horrible thought!Our neighbours garden is to the left of this picture,it is on a slope and leads to their back door!! Remembering why H had sold us the pool we decided this was not a great spot after all...
Moving up the garden we decided this area at the top would be better.We had started to clear it a while ago to extend the patio area.The plan had been to make a wooden deck area,Al was going to use pallets but the work involved in stripping them down,getting equal lengths and prepping the wood has proved to be too much of a job for him to do on the little time he gets off.So we had left it till we could afford to buy materials.It is perfect for the pool.He will need to dig down to level the ground (our whole back garden is on a gentle slope)but as it is soft from the planting this shouldn't be too big a job.The main problem is the distance from the house and thus how far the cable for the filter has to run.We have a nephew who is an electrician who might be able to assist:-)
We will loose some of the patio that we have up here to fit in the pool.As it is a lovely sunny spot we will move over to the side of the pool and take down some trellis(that is actually so old it is only held up by the ivy)and behind the trellis
through this little opening
is this!!!
When we first moved here,11 years ago we had a share of a field as our back garden.The people either side and the owners of our house had bought the land at the back of the house and sectioned it off,when we bought it it was literally a rough grassed area.As we started the landscaping Alan decided to use this top corner as a dump for the sods of earth,good plan as it would then rot down and become good loam.However then we started to find lots of stones and other bits and pieces then got put up there "for the time being".Well 10 years on and it added up to around 7 tons of rubble (we do have quite a large garden) and he spent a full day a couple of weeks ago barrowing it down to a trailer he had hired off a farmer who had somewhere he could dump it.So it is nearly clear apart from some logs(from a tree we had felled last year) that a friend is going to buy off us and a load of wood that we could chop down and use on the chimenea.It was going to be a "secret" garden and we were going to put the chimenea up here and hang lanterns on the wall and lots of plants in pots.
Instead we are going to use the space to create a larger patio area for those sunny afternoon teas:-)
We bought it at a very good price and Alan set about leveling off this area of the garden.
It is near the house for the cable from the filter and is sunny most of the day(if we ever get anymore this year!)He pulled up the membrane and spent a long afternoon putting barrow loads of soil on to level it. He pulled back the membrane and then the next couple of days rained so we didn't get the pool set up.We then had a horrible thought!Our neighbours garden is to the left of this picture,it is on a slope and leads to their back door!! Remembering why H had sold us the pool we decided this was not a great spot after all...
Moving up the garden we decided this area at the top would be better.We had started to clear it a while ago to extend the patio area.The plan had been to make a wooden deck area,Al was going to use pallets but the work involved in stripping them down,getting equal lengths and prepping the wood has proved to be too much of a job for him to do on the little time he gets off.So we had left it till we could afford to buy materials.It is perfect for the pool.He will need to dig down to level the ground (our whole back garden is on a gentle slope)but as it is soft from the planting this shouldn't be too big a job.The main problem is the distance from the house and thus how far the cable for the filter has to run.We have a nephew who is an electrician who might be able to assist:-)
We will loose some of the patio that we have up here to fit in the pool.As it is a lovely sunny spot we will move over to the side of the pool and take down some trellis(that is actually so old it is only held up by the ivy)and behind the trellis
through this little opening
is this!!!
When we first moved here,11 years ago we had a share of a field as our back garden.The people either side and the owners of our house had bought the land at the back of the house and sectioned it off,when we bought it it was literally a rough grassed area.As we started the landscaping Alan decided to use this top corner as a dump for the sods of earth,good plan as it would then rot down and become good loam.However then we started to find lots of stones and other bits and pieces then got put up there "for the time being".Well 10 years on and it added up to around 7 tons of rubble (we do have quite a large garden) and he spent a full day a couple of weeks ago barrowing it down to a trailer he had hired off a farmer who had somewhere he could dump it.So it is nearly clear apart from some logs(from a tree we had felled last year) that a friend is going to buy off us and a load of wood that we could chop down and use on the chimenea.It was going to be a "secret" garden and we were going to put the chimenea up here and hang lanterns on the wall and lots of plants in pots.
Instead we are going to use the space to create a larger patio area for those sunny afternoon teas:-)
Vampire love story in a hammock!!
A friend has very kindly downloaded all the Twighlight series for Milly.We were actually working our way through the last book before we got the download but she decided to go back and listen to the first again.She is one happy bunny and since we got them she has wanted to do very little, except listen to them on her MP3,preferably on the hammock!!
Whatever the weather she has been outside, sometimes till 10 at night swinging and listening.She has had breaks do to other things,we have visited friends and family but the moment we get back she asks for the hammock out and off she goes.She listens in bed at night and wakes up and puts it on before she gets up.She is so engrossed in the story.Obsessive some would say,I prefer to look at it as a passionate interest:-)
Some technical impovements using dog leads and skipping rope which never actually gets used for skipping but is often found dangling from trampoline/climbing frame etc having being used to secure something or other:-)
This is the view this morning,luckily the trees shield her from the worst of the rain!
Whatever the weather she has been outside, sometimes till 10 at night swinging and listening.She has had breaks do to other things,we have visited friends and family but the moment we get back she asks for the hammock out and off she goes.She listens in bed at night and wakes up and puts it on before she gets up.She is so engrossed in the story.Obsessive some would say,I prefer to look at it as a passionate interest:-)
Some technical impovements using dog leads and skipping rope which never actually gets used for skipping but is often found dangling from trampoline/climbing frame etc having being used to secure something or other:-)
This is the view this morning,luckily the trees shield her from the worst of the rain!
Monday, 20 July 2009
Pokemon fever has hit.....
Still feeling rather withdrawn,you know,just not having any energy to make any plans and finding it extra hard to make conversation?Everything just seems such hard work.I have however been given a delightful Australian bush flower concoction to take each day, the ingredients include Mulla mulla,she oak,and sunshine wattle,from my homeopath,alongside the Folliculinam and Emerald she also prescribed over the last week,I have great hopes of feeling better soon:-)
Decided to post some pics.We have had a very quiet few weeks.We didn't want to go anywhere last Monday, but late morning Milly asked if we could go in to the toy shop to look for another starter pack of Pokemon so her and Al could play later.I would have preferred not to but decided it would do us both some good and off we went.We ate at a cafe and as it was nice weather ate outside.Off to the park and Milly made friends with two boys,8 and 10,Pokemaon cards being the ice breaker:-)They were on holiday from Scotland.We ended up in the park for nearly two hours and they had a great time. They then swapped mobile numbers, email and MSN details:-)I also had a nice chat with their Mum.They will be back down in a couple of weeks so will see if we can arrange a get together then.Glad we made the effort to get out.
On the following day Milly and I set off for The Beacon in Whitehaven.A nice afternoon with Lunch first, then an explore around the Museum.As we entered,the lady on the front desk told us about a quiz sheet we could do as we went round,I took one just in case, but as is normal, it arrived back home in the bottom of my bag! Milly involved me in a game of Torchwood as we went round.We spent some time on a section about food rations during the war and having to work out what meals we could have through the week to keep within the set budget.Milly opted for bread and dripping or other similar priced items during the week but splurged on the weekend as she felt that would be a nice time to treat yourself:-)Flitted from section to section doing whatever took her fancy and then back out to find some pokemon booster packs in town.
Top area, a veiwing gallery and exhibits about weather and a booth where you can be a weather presenter and see yourself on a monitor.
The view...
A scary looking highwayman...
Then and now,how fashion has changed:-)Milly decorated the back of her hand and down her fingers with heart tattoos before leaving home!
Decided to post some pics.We have had a very quiet few weeks.We didn't want to go anywhere last Monday, but late morning Milly asked if we could go in to the toy shop to look for another starter pack of Pokemon so her and Al could play later.I would have preferred not to but decided it would do us both some good and off we went.We ate at a cafe and as it was nice weather ate outside.Off to the park and Milly made friends with two boys,8 and 10,Pokemaon cards being the ice breaker:-)They were on holiday from Scotland.We ended up in the park for nearly two hours and they had a great time. They then swapped mobile numbers, email and MSN details:-)I also had a nice chat with their Mum.They will be back down in a couple of weeks so will see if we can arrange a get together then.Glad we made the effort to get out.
On the following day Milly and I set off for The Beacon in Whitehaven.A nice afternoon with Lunch first, then an explore around the Museum.As we entered,the lady on the front desk told us about a quiz sheet we could do as we went round,I took one just in case, but as is normal, it arrived back home in the bottom of my bag! Milly involved me in a game of Torchwood as we went round.We spent some time on a section about food rations during the war and having to work out what meals we could have through the week to keep within the set budget.Milly opted for bread and dripping or other similar priced items during the week but splurged on the weekend as she felt that would be a nice time to treat yourself:-)Flitted from section to section doing whatever took her fancy and then back out to find some pokemon booster packs in town.
Top area, a veiwing gallery and exhibits about weather and a booth where you can be a weather presenter and see yourself on a monitor.
The view...
A scary looking highwayman...
Then and now,how fashion has changed:-)Milly decorated the back of her hand and down her fingers with heart tattoos before leaving home!
Monday, 13 July 2009
Four things you won't like hearing?
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Trip to Yorkshire.
After a good run of wanting to blog every day I have found little motivation to write anything lately.
A couple of reasons being the good weather we were having and then computer meltdowns!! One other ingredient in the mix has been the incredible hot sweats I have been having,I have had such disrupted nights that I resemble a zombie during the day,it is taking me all my effort to remember what day it is, let alone write anything that might be in any way interesting;-)So off to see my homeopath tomorrow and also have info on diet changes to help ease the symptoms.Fingers crossed the coming weeks will be easier.
Any how here a a few pics of out time in Yorkshire,staying in Ripon at my lovely aunt and uncles house for a few days while they were away on holiday.
A visit to York and a park and ride journey that had Milly bubbling,so funny the things that make a visit special,she just loved being sat right at the front:-)
A second visit to Yorvick for Emily and I,a first for Alan.You travel through time in a pod and journey through a Viking settlement.Milly loved being able to share the ride with Alan,then as is usual,she completely ignored the part with the artifacts and information and headed to the shop.I did linger for a short time but there was a school group being ushered around and I decided to join Emily and Alan in the shop.
Then a walk around Fountains Abbey,memories of my childhood as it was a regular haunt for family picnics way back when :-)
The day was incredibly hot and I was not on top form which inevitably meant that Emily wasn't either,so a rather fractious walk with Emily desperate to find some water to swim in,and me finding it very difficult to be as tolerant as I would normally be.We saw plenty of water but nowhere suitable to get in.We walked quite a long way and then the heavens opened, despite trying to shelter in the trees we got soaked.Somehow the change in weather enabled a change in our moods and things started to improve.A walk back to the car with trees to climb, deer to get close to and three very wet, but very happy campers.
We had made a conscious decision not to travel too far afield and had lovely lazy mornings before a short trip out then back home for tea and then Milly and Alan would head over to the park and wander around Ripon and down the canal before arriving home late in the evening.Milly really loved Ripon and it was three whole days into the trip before she began pining for home and her animals.A good trip, very relaxing and great to actually spend some time revisiting places I remembered from childhood.
A couple of reasons being the good weather we were having and then computer meltdowns!! One other ingredient in the mix has been the incredible hot sweats I have been having,I have had such disrupted nights that I resemble a zombie during the day,it is taking me all my effort to remember what day it is, let alone write anything that might be in any way interesting;-)So off to see my homeopath tomorrow and also have info on diet changes to help ease the symptoms.Fingers crossed the coming weeks will be easier.
Any how here a a few pics of out time in Yorkshire,staying in Ripon at my lovely aunt and uncles house for a few days while they were away on holiday.
A visit to York and a park and ride journey that had Milly bubbling,so funny the things that make a visit special,she just loved being sat right at the front:-)
A second visit to Yorvick for Emily and I,a first for Alan.You travel through time in a pod and journey through a Viking settlement.Milly loved being able to share the ride with Alan,then as is usual,she completely ignored the part with the artifacts and information and headed to the shop.I did linger for a short time but there was a school group being ushered around and I decided to join Emily and Alan in the shop.
Then a walk around Fountains Abbey,memories of my childhood as it was a regular haunt for family picnics way back when :-)
The day was incredibly hot and I was not on top form which inevitably meant that Emily wasn't either,so a rather fractious walk with Emily desperate to find some water to swim in,and me finding it very difficult to be as tolerant as I would normally be.We saw plenty of water but nowhere suitable to get in.We walked quite a long way and then the heavens opened, despite trying to shelter in the trees we got soaked.Somehow the change in weather enabled a change in our moods and things started to improve.A walk back to the car with trees to climb, deer to get close to and three very wet, but very happy campers.
We had made a conscious decision not to travel too far afield and had lovely lazy mornings before a short trip out then back home for tea and then Milly and Alan would head over to the park and wander around Ripon and down the canal before arriving home late in the evening.Milly really loved Ripon and it was three whole days into the trip before she began pining for home and her animals.A good trip, very relaxing and great to actually spend some time revisiting places I remembered from childhood.
Thursday, 2 July 2009
Just a quickie.
Back on line after a few days without connection.Not overly impressed with talk talk and their technical dept,I get it free so I won't grumble too much.
I have so much catching up to do on blogs and the lists,it is going to be a marathon when I get round to it.
Anyhow back online now,but no time to blog, too sunny:-) Gotta make the most of it before it disappears!!
I hope you are all having fun and enjoying the weather.I love the sun but at the moment I also have my own central heating in the form of severe hot sweats, so it has been challenging at times ;-)
Had a great short break away and then back to some serious gardening.Being ill in March meant I got no planting done in the veg garden and then one thing after another conspired to keep me from doing it and I thought I was going to have to give it a miss this year.Alan and I have just spent two days planting and it is all looking good.I do love to get my hands in the soil :-)Will post some pics tomorrow.
I have so much catching up to do on blogs and the lists,it is going to be a marathon when I get round to it.
Anyhow back online now,but no time to blog, too sunny:-) Gotta make the most of it before it disappears!!
I hope you are all having fun and enjoying the weather.I love the sun but at the moment I also have my own central heating in the form of severe hot sweats, so it has been challenging at times ;-)
Had a great short break away and then back to some serious gardening.Being ill in March meant I got no planting done in the veg garden and then one thing after another conspired to keep me from doing it and I thought I was going to have to give it a miss this year.Alan and I have just spent two days planting and it is all looking good.I do love to get my hands in the soil :-)Will post some pics tomorrow.
Friday, 19 June 2009
Friday....
Things didn't go quite to plan this week!!
Milly came down with sickness bug.She wasn't actually sick but because she really fears being sick she couldn't settle to sleep.We have had some very late nights:-(
Alan and I have both been feeling nauseous too.
Been keeping up with all the info about the review,not had enough time or brainpower to format any response yet.
We have decided to invest in some camping gear and will probably start with a smaller tent for weekends/short breaks away.The aim being to get some practice then go further afield next year.So many options in tents.Looking forward to coming back and doing some serious research.
I am finishing off some cooking for a picnic,waiting for pizzas to cool so they can go in the fridge then I am off to bed.
Off for a short break to Yorkshire tomorrow:-)
Milly came down with sickness bug.She wasn't actually sick but because she really fears being sick she couldn't settle to sleep.We have had some very late nights:-(
Alan and I have both been feeling nauseous too.
Been keeping up with all the info about the review,not had enough time or brainpower to format any response yet.
We have decided to invest in some camping gear and will probably start with a smaller tent for weekends/short breaks away.The aim being to get some practice then go further afield next year.So many options in tents.Looking forward to coming back and doing some serious research.
I am finishing off some cooking for a picnic,waiting for pizzas to cool so they can go in the fridge then I am off to bed.
Off for a short break to Yorkshire tomorrow:-)
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Sunday swim.
I went to see The vagina monologues in Carlisle last night with some friends.Loved it!! Late night and had a long lie in this morning.Milly and Alan took off for a walk.Not up to it myself so stayed home and worked through paying bills and a few jobs around the house.
Here are some shots of a wonderful day spent exploring and climbing.
Milly found an injured blackbird and was very worried!!
Sadly it was very obvious there was very little that could be done for it.So they left it in a peaceful quiet place:-(
Here are some shots of a wonderful day spent exploring and climbing.
Milly found an injured blackbird and was very worried!!
Sadly it was very obvious there was very little that could be done for it.So they left it in a peaceful quiet place:-(
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Fighting our corner.
Since This report came out I have gone through many emotions.I have spent as much time as I could reading all the info out there.The lists are alive with information and it is hard for me to take it all in.I have read so many wonderful posts and there is no way I can emulate their eloquence.
I am going to spend what time I have over the weekend taking in as much as I can and will start on Monday with some kind of plan to write,phone,email do whatever I can to ensure my voice is heard.
It has taken me a long time to get to a place where I was strong enough to do what I believed was right for Emily.Over the last two years we have created "A life worth living" :-)
I am not going to give that up without a fight.
I am going to spend what time I have over the weekend taking in as much as I can and will start on Monday with some kind of plan to write,phone,email do whatever I can to ensure my voice is heard.
It has taken me a long time to get to a place where I was strong enough to do what I believed was right for Emily.Over the last two years we have created "A life worth living" :-)
I am not going to give that up without a fight.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
The evening dance.
Laying in the bath a few nights ago,I was trying to read my book but my thoughts kept wandering.I was thinking about the last few days and how joyful they had been.Things had been going smoothly,the evening had been enjoyable and everything just seemed to flow...
About 18 months ago we began to let go of bedtimes.We didn't announce she had no bedtime, we began gently.We said yes when she asked to stay up later,we stopped insisting on a set time for her to go up.Even though it was gradual we found it hard to adjust to Milly being up later, we resented the disruption to our nights.We just couldn't find a way that worked,it all seemed so chaotic.We had got so used to the nights(mostly)being our own time.Very often we had a hyper, over tired Milly who needed a great deal of our attention.Emily has never gone to bed by herself and needed one of us to go up with her,she liked us to stay until she was asleep.We were more than happy to do that and when she had a set time to go up we knew we could come back down and have some time to relax and switch off.If Emily decided to go to bed at 9.30 it meant that by the time she had had a bath (if she wanted one)and we had snuggled and read,by the time she had got to sleep it was late and not really worth coming back down,especially for Alan as he needs to be up at 6.
When she choose to stay up later, it just seemed we had no time to ourselves,as a couple or to do the things we wanted to do individually.It was not unusual for her to stay up with whoever was up the latest and then go to bed with them.We had lots of times when she was over tired and the days were hard because of it.We talked about the effects of lack of sleep,we tried to keep these conversations informative rather than judgemental and brought it up at times it was relevant to the discussion we were having,rather than using it as a "see we told you" kind of conversation.Have to say that was hard and there were times when we were not as understanding,especially when she would get up late and not want to do anything or go anywhere and we had things planned or were wanting to go out ourselves.
It all began to get to us.Alan and I talked it through and looked at the options,setting an enforced bedtime had not always worked,there were many nights when she was just not tired and we would end up staying upstairs for hours and getting more and more wound up that she wouldn't sleep or we would leave her when she was settled, but not quite asleep and she would wake up and be up and down the stairs all night till she finally was tired enough to sleep.So many nights there were numerous delaying tactics,resisting going to bed and our patience was tested to the limit.For a short time (because of getting up for school)we had tried rewards for staying upstairs and also consequences for not staying up,neither worked but even if they had, it didn't "feel" right.It always seemed to be a battle.Bedtimes were doing nothing for our relationship with Emily.
We talked about her needs and how we could meet them and we talked about what we wanted our evening to look like.
We could see that the problem wasn't so much that Emily was up, it was the way we were thinking,the resentment of feeling that we never had any time to ourselves was eating away at us and filling us with negativity.We weren't communicating and both felt hard done too.We wanted to continue and were willing to change our habits and expectations and adapt to a new way. We wanted to ensure we each got some time during the week to ourselves.Once we were clear that was the priority we started from there, and worked out what needed to be done to ensure we could make it work.
We decided it would be a good idea for us to talk about what we wanted to do on an evening and to have a loose plan as to who wanted to go to bed at what time and if any of us had a particular programme we wanted to watch or anything we had wanted to do.Took us some time to come up with this simple plan but we got there eventually:-)We saw that there were other options.Just because our evenings had always looked a certain way, they didn't have to stay that way.
Although we have that loose plan in the early evening, things can change, they are not set in stone .It helps us to have a rough idea.We got what we needed which was a way of organising our evening so that jobs could get done or TV programmes could be watched,or whatever it was we wanted to do.We plan who will go up with Emily.That was one thing that really helped,because one of us was "on" and available to go up with her at whatever time she chooses.We talked about her staying up till she was tired and snoozing on the couch in her duvet, while we watched TV or whatever, but that was not an option for her as she likes to be in bed to sleep.We tried to think out of the box and find ways that we could make it work for us all.We talked about many different ways .By communicating our needs,being adaptable and working together we have managed to eliminate the stress around bedtimes.
She knows when she is tired and not having any reason to battle against bedtime she has no need to stay up unnecessarily.There are occasions when she is particularly into something that she chooses to stay up, but she no longer stays up just because she can.
We had bought a laptop for Emily to use and when one of us had read to to her on a night she could snooze off knowing someone was there with her and whoever had taken her to bed could watch BBCi or 4 on demand or a DVD or blogs:-)) on the laptop.We could lay in bed and read while she dozed off,we have a head torch(I know how comical is that image!!)we need to get a clip on light to go on the headboard which will be so much better!!So Emily gets what she wants /needs which is to go to bed when she is tired, with someone to lay with her so she isn't scared.
We are now much more accepting of her ever changing natural rhythm.We rarely plan anything in the mornings so we can have a slow start in case of a late night.Alan likes to be up early and get going and it was frustrating to him that plans would be made to go for a walk and he would wait ,then she might get up and not want to go.On a weekend he now lets us know his plans for the walk, if we are up before he goes and want to go with him, we go, if not he goes off and enjoys his walk.During the week I might have time on a morning if she is still snoozling in bed,instead of allowing that time to be eaten up doing jobs,I make a conscious decision to take time to do the things I enjoy and then if I still have time before she is up I will get on and do the jobs.
Alan and I find time to connect in different ways,we make the most of the times we have to chat when he comes in from work,we have become expert at grabbing the moment to talk through our day.We still need to work on a way to spend more time together.Have to be creative as we can't afford a babysitter too often and Milly is not always keen on the free option of going to stay at relatives on her own.
To be honest in our house when Emily had a set bedtime it wasn't as if we were actually "together" apart from possibly sharing the same couch to watch TV,even then we have different tastes in programmes, so we were often in different rooms!!If anything, looking at the way we spent our time on an evening has meant that our nights are rejuvenated. The focus is on being together more of the evening(even if that means just being in the same room but doing different things) and having as much fun as we can.
Over time things have settled into a very natural routine.We get the "me time" but it looks different to how it used to;-)
On a typical evening,Emily and Alan will go for a walk and get deeply involved in a role play game, while I cook tea.We have tea, sometimes at the table together, but often they will have tea together watching The Simpsons(I just don't get the simpsons!!)in a different room and I will watch a
programme I like or I am in the same room but read Blogs( I know how dreadful eating at the computer!!) Not so long ago I would have been so conscious that we "should" all eat together at the table.Things have changed,we look at the "shoulds" we examine them and then decide if they are important for us.
One of the reasons most families sit together to eat is because that could be the one time in the evening between homework, after school activities, baths and bed,that they can chat about their day.We are lucky that Alan is home by 3.45 (flexi time, he chooses to go in for 7.30 so that he can get home early)I know that some parents work later so that might be why they would choose to all eat together.Our circumstances are different,we don't need to sit at a table to connect and go through our day, we spend so long in each others company and have many opportunity's to talk during the evening.It isn't the case that we never sit at the table,because that in itself can be very pleasant,however we no longer see it as a " must do "every night.
We might wash up together while Emily is occupied doing whatever she is wanting to do or I will go and play with her and Al will wash up.They also have 20 mins on the trampoline boxing at some point in the evening,so I might do the pots then.Every evening is different, games might be played or we might read together or watch a film or TV,or spend time out in the garden .We don't always spend time together on an evening, we could all be in different rooms doing different things.Jobs get slotted in throughout the evening.Because Milly is following her natural rythym we no longer have the very giddy,hyper little girl who needs our attention all the time on a night.We have found things naturally wind down and become quieter and calmer.Most evenings Milly plans 9ish as her time to go up,previously when Alan and I talked through the options we had, he said he would be happy to go up around that time most work nights,he is up early in a morning and would be going up earlier than me anyway.Because it is something he chooses to do and he knows he has other options if he wanted to,it has meant he is doing it happily.He will read to her while she has a bath or they snuggle in bed and read,normally settling down around 10.If there is something Al wants to do I will take her to bed,once we have read for a while she will snooze while I listen to a meditaion ,catch up on TV , blogs or don my head torch and read:-))If she does want to stay up I will be the one during the week to stay with her.
At the moment she doesn't want to stay up later than either of us,if that time comes we will look at all the options and work out a plan that works for all of us.
As I was laying in the bath,I thought about an old fashioned dance where someone might come along and excuse one partner, the dancing flows on,just different partners at different times.That kind of sums up how I feel it goes here,were all on the floor, sometimes dancing all together, sometimes a couple,sometimes apart, but always in harmony.
About 18 months ago we began to let go of bedtimes.We didn't announce she had no bedtime, we began gently.We said yes when she asked to stay up later,we stopped insisting on a set time for her to go up.Even though it was gradual we found it hard to adjust to Milly being up later, we resented the disruption to our nights.We just couldn't find a way that worked,it all seemed so chaotic.We had got so used to the nights(mostly)being our own time.Very often we had a hyper, over tired Milly who needed a great deal of our attention.Emily has never gone to bed by herself and needed one of us to go up with her,she liked us to stay until she was asleep.We were more than happy to do that and when she had a set time to go up we knew we could come back down and have some time to relax and switch off.If Emily decided to go to bed at 9.30 it meant that by the time she had had a bath (if she wanted one)and we had snuggled and read,by the time she had got to sleep it was late and not really worth coming back down,especially for Alan as he needs to be up at 6.
When she choose to stay up later, it just seemed we had no time to ourselves,as a couple or to do the things we wanted to do individually.It was not unusual for her to stay up with whoever was up the latest and then go to bed with them.We had lots of times when she was over tired and the days were hard because of it.We talked about the effects of lack of sleep,we tried to keep these conversations informative rather than judgemental and brought it up at times it was relevant to the discussion we were having,rather than using it as a "see we told you" kind of conversation.Have to say that was hard and there were times when we were not as understanding,especially when she would get up late and not want to do anything or go anywhere and we had things planned or were wanting to go out ourselves.
It all began to get to us.Alan and I talked it through and looked at the options,setting an enforced bedtime had not always worked,there were many nights when she was just not tired and we would end up staying upstairs for hours and getting more and more wound up that she wouldn't sleep or we would leave her when she was settled, but not quite asleep and she would wake up and be up and down the stairs all night till she finally was tired enough to sleep.So many nights there were numerous delaying tactics,resisting going to bed and our patience was tested to the limit.For a short time (because of getting up for school)we had tried rewards for staying upstairs and also consequences for not staying up,neither worked but even if they had, it didn't "feel" right.It always seemed to be a battle.Bedtimes were doing nothing for our relationship with Emily.
We talked about her needs and how we could meet them and we talked about what we wanted our evening to look like.
We could see that the problem wasn't so much that Emily was up, it was the way we were thinking,the resentment of feeling that we never had any time to ourselves was eating away at us and filling us with negativity.We weren't communicating and both felt hard done too.We wanted to continue and were willing to change our habits and expectations and adapt to a new way. We wanted to ensure we each got some time during the week to ourselves.Once we were clear that was the priority we started from there, and worked out what needed to be done to ensure we could make it work.
We decided it would be a good idea for us to talk about what we wanted to do on an evening and to have a loose plan as to who wanted to go to bed at what time and if any of us had a particular programme we wanted to watch or anything we had wanted to do.Took us some time to come up with this simple plan but we got there eventually:-)We saw that there were other options.Just because our evenings had always looked a certain way, they didn't have to stay that way.
Although we have that loose plan in the early evening, things can change, they are not set in stone .It helps us to have a rough idea.We got what we needed which was a way of organising our evening so that jobs could get done or TV programmes could be watched,or whatever it was we wanted to do.We plan who will go up with Emily.That was one thing that really helped,because one of us was "on" and available to go up with her at whatever time she chooses.We talked about her staying up till she was tired and snoozing on the couch in her duvet, while we watched TV or whatever, but that was not an option for her as she likes to be in bed to sleep.We tried to think out of the box and find ways that we could make it work for us all.We talked about many different ways .By communicating our needs,being adaptable and working together we have managed to eliminate the stress around bedtimes.
She knows when she is tired and not having any reason to battle against bedtime she has no need to stay up unnecessarily.There are occasions when she is particularly into something that she chooses to stay up, but she no longer stays up just because she can.
We had bought a laptop for Emily to use and when one of us had read to to her on a night she could snooze off knowing someone was there with her and whoever had taken her to bed could watch BBCi or 4 on demand or a DVD or blogs:-)) on the laptop.We could lay in bed and read while she dozed off,we have a head torch(I know how comical is that image!!)we need to get a clip on light to go on the headboard which will be so much better!!So Emily gets what she wants /needs which is to go to bed when she is tired, with someone to lay with her so she isn't scared.
We are now much more accepting of her ever changing natural rhythm.We rarely plan anything in the mornings so we can have a slow start in case of a late night.Alan likes to be up early and get going and it was frustrating to him that plans would be made to go for a walk and he would wait ,then she might get up and not want to go.On a weekend he now lets us know his plans for the walk, if we are up before he goes and want to go with him, we go, if not he goes off and enjoys his walk.During the week I might have time on a morning if she is still snoozling in bed,instead of allowing that time to be eaten up doing jobs,I make a conscious decision to take time to do the things I enjoy and then if I still have time before she is up I will get on and do the jobs.
Alan and I find time to connect in different ways,we make the most of the times we have to chat when he comes in from work,we have become expert at grabbing the moment to talk through our day.We still need to work on a way to spend more time together.Have to be creative as we can't afford a babysitter too often and Milly is not always keen on the free option of going to stay at relatives on her own.
To be honest in our house when Emily had a set bedtime it wasn't as if we were actually "together" apart from possibly sharing the same couch to watch TV,even then we have different tastes in programmes, so we were often in different rooms!!If anything, looking at the way we spent our time on an evening has meant that our nights are rejuvenated. The focus is on being together more of the evening(even if that means just being in the same room but doing different things) and having as much fun as we can.
Over time things have settled into a very natural routine.We get the "me time" but it looks different to how it used to;-)
On a typical evening,Emily and Alan will go for a walk and get deeply involved in a role play game, while I cook tea.We have tea, sometimes at the table together, but often they will have tea together watching The Simpsons(I just don't get the simpsons!!)in a different room and I will watch a
programme I like or I am in the same room but read Blogs( I know how dreadful eating at the computer!!) Not so long ago I would have been so conscious that we "should" all eat together at the table.Things have changed,we look at the "shoulds" we examine them and then decide if they are important for us.
One of the reasons most families sit together to eat is because that could be the one time in the evening between homework, after school activities, baths and bed,that they can chat about their day.We are lucky that Alan is home by 3.45 (flexi time, he chooses to go in for 7.30 so that he can get home early)I know that some parents work later so that might be why they would choose to all eat together.Our circumstances are different,we don't need to sit at a table to connect and go through our day, we spend so long in each others company and have many opportunity's to talk during the evening.It isn't the case that we never sit at the table,because that in itself can be very pleasant,however we no longer see it as a " must do "every night.
We might wash up together while Emily is occupied doing whatever she is wanting to do or I will go and play with her and Al will wash up.They also have 20 mins on the trampoline boxing at some point in the evening,so I might do the pots then.Every evening is different, games might be played or we might read together or watch a film or TV,or spend time out in the garden .We don't always spend time together on an evening, we could all be in different rooms doing different things.Jobs get slotted in throughout the evening.Because Milly is following her natural rythym we no longer have the very giddy,hyper little girl who needs our attention all the time on a night.We have found things naturally wind down and become quieter and calmer.Most evenings Milly plans 9ish as her time to go up,previously when Alan and I talked through the options we had, he said he would be happy to go up around that time most work nights,he is up early in a morning and would be going up earlier than me anyway.Because it is something he chooses to do and he knows he has other options if he wanted to,it has meant he is doing it happily.He will read to her while she has a bath or they snuggle in bed and read,normally settling down around 10.If there is something Al wants to do I will take her to bed,once we have read for a while she will snooze while I listen to a meditaion ,catch up on TV , blogs or don my head torch and read:-))If she does want to stay up I will be the one during the week to stay with her.
At the moment she doesn't want to stay up later than either of us,if that time comes we will look at all the options and work out a plan that works for all of us.
As I was laying in the bath,I thought about an old fashioned dance where someone might come along and excuse one partner, the dancing flows on,just different partners at different times.That kind of sums up how I feel it goes here,were all on the floor, sometimes dancing all together, sometimes a couple,sometimes apart, but always in harmony.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Saturday here.....
Our days always start in a very relaxed way,it takes me a while to come round and so by necessity I treat myself gently in a morning and don't rush around.Milly has never really been a morning person either and has been waking around 9.30/10.00 lately.When it is a work morning Al is up at 6.00 but on weekends may have a lie in till 8.00:-)He quite likes to get up and get going,he likes to be kept busy.He was up first, with me shortly after,while Milly snoozed on...
After walking Beauty, Alan got back and sat with a cuppa,getting in touch with his feminine side, reading my trashy mag;-)
I had baked off some sweet potato's yesterday to make a sweet potato cake today.I can't make enough, Emily and Alan adore it and so does everyone else that's eaten it.I got the recipe from a blog and I can't remember which one but here is the recipe.I just use two bread tins to cook it in and use a food processor so it is a very easy cake to make.
We had no plans this morning so when Emily did get up she decided to watch some W.I.T.C.H, while we were nearby finishing baking,reading.
Beauty did what Beauty does, and chilled out...
Alan went off to play with Emily.It is an ongoing game involving some W.I.T.C.H characters they have been playing on the walks each night.While they were busy,I eventually got around to clearing the kitchen cupboards.
They don't look as bad from this distance but things were falling on top of me whenever I attempted to get anything out to bake.
There were an embarrassing amount of things out of date,which although wasteful meant more space so I could spread things out a little.Once I had cleaned the sticky,icky shelves.
We decided to watch a film together and as we had just bought Slumdog Millionaire we started that .Milly wasn't keen and after an hour we turned it off and watched another one we hadn't seen, The Mummy(3) instead.
Alan then finished painting some garden furniture and I got on with the tea prep.Delia Smiths Braising steak in green peppercorn sauce, a simple but delicious and mouth watering Recipe.I can't find it on line but it is in an old complete cookery course book I have.Haven't got time now but may come back and put the recipe on cos it really is delish :-)
Once I had it in the oven I had a couple of hours,so went off to play a hospital game with Emily,I was the nurse and she was the patient,reminded me of Chloe as we had something similar when we were in the tent I remember:-))
Then I got in a bath and read for a while before hair washed and tea prep.
Lovely meal then TV and blogging before I head off to bed with Milly to watch the end of Slumdog whilst she snoozes off.....
That was our Saturday, how was yours?xx
After walking Beauty, Alan got back and sat with a cuppa,getting in touch with his feminine side, reading my trashy mag;-)
I had baked off some sweet potato's yesterday to make a sweet potato cake today.I can't make enough, Emily and Alan adore it and so does everyone else that's eaten it.I got the recipe from a blog and I can't remember which one but here is the recipe.I just use two bread tins to cook it in and use a food processor so it is a very easy cake to make.
We had no plans this morning so when Emily did get up she decided to watch some W.I.T.C.H, while we were nearby finishing baking,reading.
Beauty did what Beauty does, and chilled out...
Alan went off to play with Emily.It is an ongoing game involving some W.I.T.C.H characters they have been playing on the walks each night.While they were busy,I eventually got around to clearing the kitchen cupboards.
They don't look as bad from this distance but things were falling on top of me whenever I attempted to get anything out to bake.
There were an embarrassing amount of things out of date,which although wasteful meant more space so I could spread things out a little.Once I had cleaned the sticky,icky shelves.
We decided to watch a film together and as we had just bought Slumdog Millionaire we started that .Milly wasn't keen and after an hour we turned it off and watched another one we hadn't seen, The Mummy(3) instead.
Alan then finished painting some garden furniture and I got on with the tea prep.Delia Smiths Braising steak in green peppercorn sauce, a simple but delicious and mouth watering Recipe.I can't find it on line but it is in an old complete cookery course book I have.Haven't got time now but may come back and put the recipe on cos it really is delish :-)
Once I had it in the oven I had a couple of hours,so went off to play a hospital game with Emily,I was the nurse and she was the patient,reminded me of Chloe as we had something similar when we were in the tent I remember:-))
Then I got in a bath and read for a while before hair washed and tea prep.
Lovely meal then TV and blogging before I head off to bed with Milly to watch the end of Slumdog whilst she snoozes off.....
That was our Saturday, how was yours?xx
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Hot sunny days,I think I'm in heaven!!
The last few days have been glorious.Spent at home in very little clothing,I have a very sheltered garden so non of the neighbours needs to see me in my cossy:-)
Emily kept Beauty active all day long.Beauty loves the hose pipe but because of arthritis can no longer jump around too much,it just inflames her elbow and causes pain.There were short bursts of water her way though and she loved it and then Emily would get her to sit while she bounced on the mini trampoline and as soon as she jumped forward Beauty would bounce forward too and catch the splashes.Great fun for both:-)
Emily initially didin't want to get her hair wet,hence the shower cap,however she soon decided to just get soaked....
The next day she repositioned her pool under the swing and spent the whole day filling with the hose then splashing and swinging,and filling some more.She got through two bottles of Mr Matey bubble bath and the lawn looks like a herd of cows have been through,because wherever the pool and Emily were, so was Beauty, dancing around trying to get the splashes:-)
Some other sunny scenes....
For some reason I don't remember spending much time laying here.Looking forward to the weather lasting a while and I can carry on reading the last book in the Twilight series to her while she paddles.
Emily kept Beauty active all day long.Beauty loves the hose pipe but because of arthritis can no longer jump around too much,it just inflames her elbow and causes pain.There were short bursts of water her way though and she loved it and then Emily would get her to sit while she bounced on the mini trampoline and as soon as she jumped forward Beauty would bounce forward too and catch the splashes.Great fun for both:-)
Emily initially didin't want to get her hair wet,hence the shower cap,however she soon decided to just get soaked....
The next day she repositioned her pool under the swing and spent the whole day filling with the hose then splashing and swinging,and filling some more.She got through two bottles of Mr Matey bubble bath and the lawn looks like a herd of cows have been through,because wherever the pool and Emily were, so was Beauty, dancing around trying to get the splashes:-)
Some other sunny scenes....
For some reason I don't remember spending much time laying here.Looking forward to the weather lasting a while and I can carry on reading the last book in the Twilight series to her while she paddles.
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