A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Nearly there!!!

Tuesday 23 December 2008

Nearly there!!!

Christmas presents wrapped (nearly).
Food for Xmas period bought(nearly).
Cards all delivered(nearly).
Presents that need delivering done(nearly).
House sorted and decorated ready for the big day(nearly)
Emily fit to burst with excitement(nearly)
Alan's man flu gone(nearly)

What a week,it seems we have not stopped. I have moved seamlessly from pleasurable get togethers with friends, to being stuck in long ques in one shop or another,and I can't even recall my experience in the main post office without a shiver!! The Que wound round about 4 times and there were three sections open,after 20 mins we all perk up as another section was opened,our excitement was soon dashed as one of the other sections promptly closed!!
A young girl and her boyfriend attempted to jump the que and stood in front of the lady in front of me.I remember thinking naively that they couldn't possibly be intending to do it as blatantly as that and they must not be aware the que went on behind me but oh yes they were and as the que moved forward slightly they attempted to go in front of the lady.She turned to them and said there was no way they were going to push in in front of her and all hell broke loose with the young girl shouting and swearing and getting right in her face and threatening to punch her!She claimed she had been waiting in line for ages.Everybody in the que just stood and stared and I felt I had to back the woman up, so shaking like a leaf and with visions of been thumped I said that she hadn't been there for ages and that they were in fact behind me.At this point the woman in front shouted to ask the tellers to call the police as she was being threatened,they looked over but never attempted to phone!! However at the mention of the police the guy with her suggested it was daft to get the police involved and suddenly like a real gent he waved me forward graciously saying you go before me love!!Why the change of heart? During another heated conversation they got into with a lady behind me it transpired the guy was wearing a tag and would obviously not want to have the police called.The girl kept whispering behind me about what she was going to do to the woman when she got outside,she looked perfectly fine, a pretty girl,nicely dressed but obviously very used to situations like this.I am sure if it hadn't been for the guy needing to stay away from trouble it could easily of escalated because it was so obvious she was not going to back down.I can't tell you how badly shaken I was.I used to Manage a discount retail store in Liverpool centre and had to deal with shoplifters every day of my life.I was threatened so many times it became just a part of the job.I was on first name terms with some of the police officers.I have been away from that kind of thing for so long and have never been involved in the kind of violence since then and to see it at such close quarters and be reminded that so many folk live with it day in day out was sobering.When I was working and had to tackle a shoplifter my reactions were very often instinctive and that day in the post office I was impressed with the lady in front of me for sticking up for herself and instinctively felt I should back her up,as well as the fact I was also livid they thought it was OK to just jump in the que with total disregard for anyone in it.Sometimes it is perhaps safer not to get involved but sometimes instinct just kicks in.

My thoughts about the couple have moved on from anger about the way they made me feel to sadness that the life they live appears to have so much violence in it.I am thankful for the life I live and the love and respect that surrounds me.I am so glad my life isn't touched by the kind of violence that was once an every day occurrence for me.My heart goes out to others that are not so lucky.

A timely reminder at this time of rushing around and jobs to do before the big day to be thankful for the things that really count.

An opportunity missed to remember how lucky I am and focus on the good instead of the hate (nearly)

Merry Christmas to all of you, I hope you have a wonderful time with your families and that Santa brings you all you wish for.xxxxxx

2 comments:

Classroomfree said...: I hope you had a fabulous Christmas, and that 2009 is the year when all your dreams come true :o); 28 December 2008 at 15:46
Shirl said...: Good for you! At my last place, that way of living surrounded us. We were so glad to move on!

Hope you had a lovely Christmas and I wish you all a very happy New Year ... :0); 29 December 2008 at 11:46

This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious