"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Friday, 26 November 2010

A quiet day - with added wobble!

It's so cold outside today. It was sunny this morning but that has given way to grey cloudy skies - maybe, just maybe - we will get a share of the snow that is falling elsewhere ;-)

Milly is unwell today.She has been under the weather for a while now.She has had a period of growth and in Emily's cycle that is nearly always followed by a time for relaxing and just being at home.A cough and cold have crept in and that period of cocooning has lasted longer than is usual.

 Alan has been able to have the car this week and we have stayed at home.Our days have been spent quietly.I went for a short walk with Beauty on Wednesday afternoon - Milly was happy to be left for half an hour.She was tucked up in bed listening to a story tape. She had the phone with her so she could reach me if needed.The last two days I have not been able to go as Milly has not wanted to be left.Apart from that I have just pottered at home and kept Milly supplied with food and drinks and sat with her or played when she wanted me to:-)

I could have gone out for a walk when Alan got home but it is dark by then and I don't feel as comfortable being out on the country lanes on my own with Beauty.Last year a couple of dogs ran out of the darkness and attacked her!

This afternoon I was preparing some butternut squash and other veg to roast in the oven.I got to thinking about how long the recipe ( for spicy bean burgers) was going to take .Once the veg was chopped it needed to be roasted for 45 min's or so.Then I needed to mix all the ingredients with spices and leave for a couple of hours to marinate so all the flavours developed.Then they could be cooked. I am not a bad cook and sometimes I do enjoy cooking but quite often I find myself wanting to rush through it - as though it isn't an important thing to be doing and my time should be better spent.For some reason today - probably due to the slow ( and seemingly unproductive ) week we have had -the feeling was very strong and I felt agitated.

 When I put the veg in the oven I took Milly a mug of hot chocolate and a snack and sat down here with my cuppa and snack. I decided to spend a little time and finish a post I had started to write about our trip to London but realised all the pictures are on Milly's laptop which is away for repair!

So I started writing this instead...

I often find - when we are not doing much and are at home more - the wobbles occur!
Even though Milly is unwell at the moment the thoughts like, I'm not doing enough -I should be planning more activities - going places - meeting up with people - introducing new things to Milly - creep in.
The saying 'Live every day as if it were your last' came into my mind as I was chopping the veg. That evoked images of a life of adventure - rock climbing, abseiling, travelling, out and about, busy, never missing an opportunity to explore, fitting in as many things as possible.
What would I actually do if it was my last day - would I want to be busy - packing as many things into my last day as possible?
I thought it through and I realised that - aside from the obvious limitations I have to tackle rock climbing  *grin* -  for me 'living each day as if it is your last' has more to do with how I  live my life rather than how much I do.

 I want to be more mindful - live in each moment.
To appreciate and enjoy the people and activities that make my life worth living..To treat myself well - not in a material way - perhaps just by giving myself the opportunity to lay in a long, hot, bath reading my book and not feel I am wasting time and being lazy.To be fully present and enjoy the cuddles and time spent playing with Milly .To appreciate the fact that I am able to spend my days at home as I do because of my wonderful, supportive husband.
To find joy in all the things ( cooking and cleaning included ) I do every day.

"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves."

Guatama Buddha

I read a quote on a lovely new blog I found yesterday that ties in with my thoughts.

"Instead of wondering when your next vacation is you ought to set up a life you don't need to escape from." Godin

We are looking at our life and trying to find ways to follow our dream, to cut out any causes of stress and live life the way that suits us.We want to simplify things and try to find a way to earn a living that enables us to spend as much time together as possible.We don't want to look back with regret that we didn't do all that was possible to make that happen.
I do think life is an adventure, I think every day there are exciting things to see and new things to learn.They can be small things though - things that are easy to miss if we live at a fast pace.Some of us need the quiet times,our personalities require it.
Balance is the key for me -I will accept the slow, calm, quiet times as being as important and worthwhile
  as the busier, active days.
Living life to the fullest does not mean packing every moment full of activity.I believe it is about getting the most amount of pleasure from whatever it is you are doing.
Wobble over!
I'm going to go back to preparing the meal with a different attitude.I'm going to enjoy the process and not rush through it.How wonderful for me to have the luxury to spend time in our warm, cosy, home and spend time lovingly preparing a meal for those that mean the most to me.

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