A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Could this be the beginning of something Big?

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Could this be the beginning of something Big?

What a fantastic day today has been:-))

Emily came down around 8.30 (after going to sleep at 7.30 last night)She had got to sleep around 1.30 am on the Tuesday sleepover but they had both slept in til 10 am which wasn't bad but she was still tired obviously...

After reading some of The Golden compass she went to watch the Golden compass on DVD for the second time in two days,while I threw the vacum around. She got part way through before we needed to go out.Just as we got to the front door my sister arrived,she knew we were heading off but had popped in for five and to see our new veggie area so I willingly showed it off and then we had a natter and headed out.

We spent the morning at the food coop as usual.Milly played and I chatted whilst packing up the fruit, setting up and the packing up takes approx 1hour and then from 11 til 12 we just chat and drink tea and chat to the folks coming to collect their bags,not a bad morning eh;-))

Home for a quick lunch,and more of the Golden compass DVD for Milly then at Milly's request(very unusual for her to actually request to go out)we went off to Trotters World the local animal park.It was a pleasant afternoon weather wise and we had a great time.Emily was in fine form and was funny and great company to be with.We got to see the Lynx being fed and it was amazing to see it in motion and jumping up to get the piece of venison on a rope, as we only ever see it sitting on the rock.I was probably more interested in it than Emily though,she had found a "good" stick and was more interested in prodding that in things and wondering what would happen if she were to touch the electrified fence with it and whether sparks would be visible.At one point she was walking around with the stick behind her neck like a yoke with her arms hanging over the top of the stick and her head hanging down limply and the story was that she had been a robber and she had had a stone thrown at her as punishment and had died and she was hanging on the tower of London for all to see as a deterrent!!!

We very nearly got a fantastic close up of the peacock,it was in a marquee and Emily got within stroking distance and went to get her phone out(not too sure if I blogged about the mobile? She got it for 19.99 from Argos, long story as to the whys and wherefore's but she paid for it herself and after initially texting a couple of Aunts and her friend who has one and pretending to be on the phone round Tesco's etc it has hibernated in her bag just as I suspected it would,but gets taken out to take photo's now and again) as she was about to take it out the bird screeched so loudly we both shot back,Milly is not good with loud shocks and I thought she was going to burst out crying which would be the usual situation,she held it together but did not want to take the photo at all and just wanted to get out of there.Pity though cos it would have been a great shot.

In the car on the way home we heard that Mcfly are coming to Carlisle this summer and Milly is keen to go so it looks like I will be getting to see them too;-)) Her first live gig and my first open air one too.My good friend M and her daughter E (who is the one responsible for introducing Emily to the boy's) will also be going with us.So at nine sharp I will be on the phone to try to get tickets,fingers crossed....

Back home to make tea and I was flagging but had arranged to go to a Hypnotherapy course and it was the first night.Rezwanna who does my massage ,reflexology etc was running it.I was quite excited as it promised to be a really healing series of workshops and I was looking forward to it but it involved going out at 7.00 and not getting back til 9.30 and I am not good in the evenings as my energy is so low.I suppose the other thing holding me back was the fact there would be people I didn't know there and I am not good in new groups but on the plus side a couple of the girls I meditate with were going so I talked myself into going and I am so glad I did.We sat in the garden (which was a little nippy but it was nice to be outside) there were around 15 of us and I think it is going to prove be the most exciting thing I have done.It is about healing yourself physically ,mentally and emotionally and empowering yourself using hypnotherapy techniques.It seems to bring together so many elements that I have been reading about and attempting to practice over the last few years in a very easy and workable way.Can't wait for the next one.

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This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious