"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Thursday, 11 February 2010

A glimpse into the future....

Emily has slept in her own room since we finished decorating it.
I am so pleased for her,she is happy and in love with her new room and it is "time" for her.

After 3 years,I also have a twinge of sadness that she is no longer in her bed next to me .I can no longer stroke her hand during the night and feel her close to me.I miss waking and watching her sleep.I loved when she woke me gently by stroking my arm or face.I felt so connected to her.
I am so glad we (eventually) listened to our hearts and not other opinions and brought her bed into our room when she needed us. Prior to this we had spent the years playing musical beds:-) Most nights we would read and sing to her in her room and she wanted us to stay with her holding her hand till she fell asleep.This could take hours.

At other times,when Emily needed us close we would have her in our bed and one of us would go in her room.

I do miss her being in with us,there is no doubt about that and it will take a while to adjust.I don't feel too sad though.It is "time " for me as well.We were there when she needed us close and now she is spreading her wings. I know I will find other ways to maintain that connection to her.

On the plus side :-)
I get to have a bedside table again,I can go to bed with a cuppa and have a place to put it next to the bed:-)
I can have a light on it, so I can read and will no longer have to don the head torch :-)
I can get up during the night to go to the loo without having to do the wriggly dance down to the bottom of the bed:-)
I can get in my wardrobe without the hindrance of a mountain of soft toys stored at the bottom of the
I will no longer be woken by an arm flung across and hitting me in the head!!

She is spending a lot of time in her room during the day,I am welcome in, obviously, but she is wanting time on her own, in her own space.Emily is 11 on Tuesday.The last week has given me the opportunity to envisage what it might be like when she is a teenager and beyond.It has made me aware of how fleeting our time with her is.
It has made me determined to spend and enjoy as much time as possible with her,when she wants me.Instead of getting distracted and thinking of all the other things I could be doing,I will savour each moment of playing at being a vampire and listening to her many stories.Instead of getting on with household jobs while she watches TV,I will make the time to sit and snuggle with her more.I will take any opportunity to "be" with her.
 This time is precious, our relationship is changing.
I have had a glimpse into the future.What we do now is so important for our future relationship in so many ways. I am so grateful to have had this reminder,I don't want to look back when she is older and wish I had spent more time with her.


Julia said...

I have really enjoyed reading about the transitions your family are going through at the moment - thank you for sharing :o)

Colleen said...

I think it must have taken me a year to get used to Jerry sleeping in his own room. It felt like he was sooooo far away, but really he was just down the hall! Those baby steps of separation can be so hard....

Sam said...

Time passes so quickly. Thanks for the reminder to savor every moment :-)

Millie<3Niall said...

This actually made me feel really emotional! It is hard growing up and growing apart - I miss being so close to my mum. But there are other things too, you get to look forward to meeting the new boyfriend and having long discussions about the 'old times' xxx