A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Monday...

Monday, 7 March 2011

Monday...

Out by twelve to the Cranial Osteopath appointment for Milly.

Had a nice chatty time with Judith and she reminded me of the Center for Life in Newcastle.It is a place I have wanted to take Milly and as Judith explained some of the exhibits she had seen Milly was very excited and keen to go! Must check carefully that the one she was most keen on is still there before we plan anything.

Over the last few days plans to visit Flamingo land and stay for a few nights have been talked about with eagerness, as has a visit to Blackpool! Four days apparently. One for the pleasure beach, one for the wet and wild type pool, one to explore and one for the Tower... So nice to have her thinking of the joy to be had on visits rather than the immediate anxiety about travel and proximity to a loo. Those fears are still very much in evidence and we are dealing with them daily, but I believe - handled correctly - they will keep fading until they are no longer an issue.

Lunch at Morrison's and then on to Impact Housing to see if they had any furniture we could use in the sun room. We want more seating - preferably a corner type settee... Nothing today. Judging by the prices they had on some really tatty furniture ( vastly increased on the stock I have seen over the years -

wouldn't mind paying the price if the furniture was half decent but these were nasty ) might be better looking elsewhere.Will keep trying for a while just in case...

Back home and I asked Milly if she wanted to join me in the garden for a cuppa.We had talked about lighting the chiminea but we had got home later than expected and I had a lasagna to make so that wasn't possible. She had put the tele on and I was surprised when she said yes of course!

Blue skies wherever we looked.warm enough to go without a jacket...

Got anything for little ole me?

No! Oh OK.

Pity, I'm hungry...

Milly told me a story about Beauty and we headed in after about half an hour or so.

I expected her to go and watch tele but when I asked if she wanted to cook with me she said yes! Yay...

She started to move the fruit bowl and other bits of the island unit and assumed her usual position to 'cook'.

The story continued as she watched me ;-)

Cat dancing...

Urgh are those going in the tea?

Remember Mum, chopping onions requires a teaspoon in your mouth - yes I know... but it does work!

Shimmy, while checking out the Cd to see what song is next...

Dad home. walk with him and Beauty whilst I finish tea - Dad gets to hear Beauty's story on the walk.

Home for tea - Milly decided to have hers watching TV and Alan and I sat together at the table discussing the day.

Ten minute tickle for Alan and Emily before he got ready to go to Tai chi.

Not too sure what we are going to do with the rest of the evening.Cup cakes were mentioned today and experimenting with butter icing - maybe leave that for Milly and Granny to do together tomorrow whilst I am at my meditation group. I know I have the menus and list to do at some point tonight - going shopping tomorrow night. I will ask Milly if she wants to play, then get my nightie on and settle down I think....

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This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious