"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

Old negative thinking....

Milly just came through,she is feeling better but has no taste. She got some coca cola from the fridge.In the past, before we decided to lift restrictions ,the cola would not have been in the fridge for her to choose and in the beginning when I did start buying it again I would still have reacted quite negatively to her having some,I wouldn't always have verbalised it but did on occasion:-(It didn't make sense because we had taken the decision to allow her more choices, but ingrained reactions to "unhealthy" food took over.

The lid was tight so I helped her open the bottle,we had a giggle as I banged the lid on the side of the table to loosen it and it started to fizz up.She filled a small glass,after taking a sip she said it wasn't as good without it's taste:-( She put the bottle back in the fridge.

I started to go back to the computer and heard the rustle of plastic and thought she was getting a bag of crisps from the drawer.(edited to add) I had been offering up platters of food with all sorts of the foods/fruits I know she likes but she hadn't been hungry.The irrational thought that popped into my head was "oh great here she is full of cold and needing some good nourishing foods and she is choosing junk".I looked around to see her with a wide smile on her face,joyfully clutching a bag of sugar snap peas to her chest like they were the best thing in the world.She tootled off into the other room with the cola and sugar snaps.Thank god I had kept my big gob shut and didn't spoil that by lecturing about nutrition,or some other negative reaction.

It reminded me that last night as I was doing the shopping list I asked Al to nip into the other room to ask her if there was anything she wanted me to get,out of all the things she could have chosen the answer he got was Parsley.I get the growing pots and she eats a whole one just pulling off handfuls as she goes past,she likes coriander like this as well.We did grow some in the garden but it didn't have the same appeal as it does when it is just sitting on the counter.

Even though she didn't ask for the cola I bought some because I know she enjoys it.

I still have quite negative reactions in my head to her eating what I still think of as junk(some work left to do there!!)at least now I take a moment and stop myself before coming out with some unnecessary negative comment.By giving her options and access to a wide range of foods, Emily is proving over time that she is quite capable of making good choices.

5 comments:

Big mamma frog said...

I think the food choice thing is a difficult one. I know of people whose children are confined to only 'healthy' foods at home and when they come to our house they start begging for breakfast cereal, biscuits and cakes and anything else they can get their hands on(!) so total restriction isn't always the best solution. As I've been hooked on cola for the past 10 or more years, (it became my equivalent of tea or coffee) and I know it makes me bad tempered and gives me headaches, it's the one thing I don't let my kids have. For me, it's a bit like smoking, some things are better not started!

Debs said...

It is really difficult with food, especially nowadays with the "5 fruit and veg a day" thing and the government "change 4 life" campaigns and everything. You can't go into a supermarket without being bombarded with "health" messages on all the packaging. My nephew's school doesn't allow children to take crisps or chocolate to school in their lunchboxes - taking not only the children's but the parent's choice away.

I read a Paul McKenna book once ("I can make you thin" I think) where he says you should eat whatever you want and not worry about it - and studies have shown that people who are allowed (or allow themselves) to eat anything at all, with no banned foods etc, do end up over time eating a good balance diet.

Anyway, sorry, I'm waffling! :)

Claire said...

I struggle with autonomy and food. I used to be very strict but am a bit more laid back now. Still struggle though - I wouldn't put crap fuel in my car so why put crap fuel in my children? At the same time I do see the autonomy issues. It's a tricky one I feel.

Homeopath said...

interesting post....

Stephanie said...

We just bought a huge bag of sugar snap peas at the store a bit ago. :)
Trev loves carrots, frozen peas, snap peas, apples... and sour patch kids. :/
it's tricky. and difficult sometimes.