"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Thursday, 5 February 2009

A twinge of regret.





I found this picture whilst I was sorting some paperwork out.I remember the day it was taken.I remember how she loved to wear my boots and would spend great parts of the day clopping around in them.I had many images of the happy days we used to share and her easy going nature,her innocence and complete trust in me.Looking at this picture made me cry.

I try not to regret things,my thinking is that things happen for a reason and that we grow and learn from all experiences. I knew school wasn't right for her,in my heart I knew.But I just didn't have the confidence to follow my heart and I don't know if I will ever stop regretting that.

I am just grateful we got her out and we are now able to live this life and to help her to recover from the hurt she felt during those years.

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

Aaaaw... don't be so hard on yourself.
You're right... we learn and grow, and things happen for a reason.

Just remember that it's not fair to beat up her Mommy about it.

Love her well enough today to heal yourself. I'm sure she's recovering beautifully!

Heart Rockin Mama said...

No regrets!
I, too, would have done things differently. We didn't listen to our hearts at first, either. But, we all do our best at every given moment. We learn and grow. Think of how great it is that Emily knows that you can admit to mistakes and make things better. It's awesome!
No regrets!

Debs said...

Big hugs for you Lynn. This post is really moving and thought-provoking. Following your heart when it is telling you to do something that goes against the grain of what most people do is incredibly difficult, and no-one should feel bad for not being able to. I'm sure Emily appreciates you and the life you have created for her all the more as she can compare it to what most children have to do (ie go to school/nursery) and can be grateful that she has a mother who is brave enough to home educate her. :) xxx

Shirl said...

It takes a lot of courage to make the decision to home educate and because of that it's not a decision made lightly. You are right, everything does happen for a reason. I think you are doing a great job and Emily will look back and appreciate everything you have done to help her.

Dawny said...

lots of sympathy for how you feel Lynn *hugs
we feel like that with naomi too. All you can do is make the most of now so that that time is well forgotten or put behind. I guess we have to have the downs to appreciate the ups :o)

Mam said...

Hello I'm a new reader. your post struck a chord we're newly home eduacating and there are reminders of school everywhere, but it's the pictures of the kids when they were tiny and just starting that hurt. How little we all know when we start out as parents. Emily is very lucky to have parents who recognised that school was not working and is not compulsory, and who are now tailoring her life to suit her as an individual. Hazel xx

Lynn said...

Thank you all so much, you are all lovely:-)

There are a few pictures I have of Emily that always make me catch my breath.They are not beautifully posed artistic shots, they are ones that have seemed to capture her essence,does that make sense? The way she tilted her head and the look on her face in this one just transported me back to that time and caught me out!!
When I started out on this blog adventure I was so concerned about putting such personal "stuff" out there.I appreciate you reaching out and your words have helped A lot xx