A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Meeting the challenge I set.....

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Meeting the challenge I set.....

We went to visit friends in the Northeast at the weekend.

We have been for a sleepover a couple of times before. As it is so far from home Milly had wanted me to be close. Liz very kindly offered her playroom for me to stay in but I thought a B&B would be the best bet so I could rest ( I have Chronic fatigue for anyone who doesn't know ) and I also knew Milly wanted it feel like it was a real sleepover - without me there .

Liz's Mum is in sheltered housing and they have a flat for relatives to stay in and I have been lucky enough to stay there :-)

The first time we went on the train. The second time - for a two night sleepover. After discussion with Milly - who wasn't too keen on long distance car journeys at that time - we decided it would be more convenient for us to drive and it would also be easier for Liz - who had very kindly met us off the train and drove us the half hour to theirs .

It was twice the distance I had ever driven but I thought it was time I challenged myself. We met up at Walby - which is the halfway point for us - and after a good play we followed Liz to hers :-) This time I decided to make the challenge a little harder and do the whole journey without being able to follow Liz.

Milly was a great co pilot and navigated well :-)

It has worked well each time. I get to spend some time with Liz and Gary and also get to cuddle Charlie the dog ;-) then head I off to the flat and Milly knows I am close by.

I spend the day after the journey in the flat - not because I wouldn't be welcome to join in with whatever Liz the kids were doing but - knowing I have to drive home - I need to recoup. On both occasions I have needed to spend a good part of the day in bed. This time I spent the morning in bed. I meditated, read and ate breakfast, then had a bath. More reading and then some lunch before Liz's Mum came to take me out for a couple of hours. An enjoyable trip to Otterburn and then back to bed! I rested the whole afternoon and got up about 7.30 for some food. The gang dropped in for a visit about 9.30 :-) They had been to Wet and Wild in Newcastle and had had a ball - lots of fun!

They headed home and back to bed to read for me - to end a very hectic day ;-))

I woke the next morning feeling well rested and ready for the journey home. I had a leisurely morning and packed up before going to chat with Liz's Mum to say goodbye. Then it was off to Liz's for brunch. Lots of chat and eventually we set off around 3.30. A good journey back with a break at my Mum's for a breather and a cuppa.

One day Milly won't *need* me to be nearby and I won't have to do the journey - we could just meet halfway and do a handover:-)

I would really like to keep going though. I have enjoyed stretching myself to do the journey. I may not enjoy the after effects of driving that distance but I love spending time in the car with Milly - she is such good company and we have a laugh. As I get back to better health I will be able to do the journey and also be involved in any activities - if they'll have me of course:-))

3 comments:

Michelle said...: lovely :-). It's always good to know your limitations and work around them. I never learn, we keep on doing far too much and then I get ill. Have tonsillitis right now :-(.; 7 July 2011 at 20:59
Lynn said...: I had got so used to being able to do more and be almost *normal* that it came as a shock to have a relapse! It has taken me time to get the message again :-) I do hope the tonsillitis passes quickly xxxx; 7 July 2011 at 21:10
Lynn said...: I had got so used to being able to do more and be almost *normal* that it came as a shock to have a relapse! It has taken me time to get the message again :-) I do hope the tonsillitis passes quickly xxxx; 7 July 2011 at 21:10

This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious