Not at my best......

The day started off well, we had breakfast then I read to Milly whilst she drew and went on the computer, all very calm and peaceful.

I then set about a few jobs whilst she played before we had to get ready to go shopping for clothes and shoes for Emily.I have been putting it off for weeks, it used to be so easy when I could go out and bring a bundle of clothes back usually managing to get her size from the local charity shops and so long as there was something pink or glittery we were onto a winner....

Things have changed somewhat and she now has very definite ideas about what she will wear, this in itself is fine and as it should be ,although I do find it a bit tedious to have 99% of my suggestions vetoed I can cope with it. She would have no problem wearing things from a charity shop but I am no longer able to get a good enough selection of her size from them.

So we have to go to the high street and the thing that winds me up no end is that she is out of age 8/9 clothes but 10/11 are usually too long/big which provided many opportunities for frustrations (hers and mine) to grow as she tried things on and we hope that they were a small fit . So things gradually deteriorated as the hours passed , I became more and more short tempered that the few clothes she would even look at turned out to be a wrong fit and she got less and less interested in the process and I knew I had to be careful as If I bought things with her saying she liked them in this mood then it was likely that when it came to actually wearing them in the future she would say she hated them and would not wear them.

So in the end I got a bundle of clothes that she liked the look of and brought them home and will just have to make the trip back to exchange or return any items that don't pass the two tests of fitting and Emily actually liking them on. It is a pain but not as much of a pain as going from shop to shop getting hotter and hotter ( layers for cold weather outside then heaters on in shops and severe hot flushes due to menopause!!!!)

I have to say that pales into insignificance next to the shoe saga. I won't bore you with too many details but because she is a 3 1/2 she is out of the children's section in most stores and although we started in Clark's they didn't do pink party shoes in her size so on we went to every other shop in the high street only to return to Clark's 3 hours later and have to make do with a black school shoe with a bit of flower detail. She was disappointed but I was proud of her she was very stoical and made the best out of it claiming she loved them and they would look lovely with her dress . It's the Xmas party for her gymnastics group tomorrow and I am kicking myself now for having left it so late to get organised.

We leave town exhausted and with a major headache brewing to get home with only an hour to spare before going out again so a quick tea for Milly and out again to her best friends house to go to her school Xmas fair. It had been a bit of a tradition that as they were at different schools they started to go to each others school fair and they both wanted to go so we went with two other mums and 5 children.

I never enjoyed these kind of things when Emily went to school and it was strange experience to be at one in a school we had taken her out of. I didn't see any of the teachers that had taken Emily in nursery year but the Head teacher was in the hall near the bouncy castle and I had to do a bit of ducking and diving as I really didn't want to get into a conversation with him at all. I was just about managing to nod to people I knew and I was not in the best frame of mind to be having any kind of discussion with him about home education in front of all the parents who go to great lengths to get their children into this top rated school!!!!! In truth I am not sure that situation was one I would of been comfortable tackling even when I am on top form.....
I have been home a while now I am too wound up to sleep ,Alan (who was out on his works Xmas lunch and has had a few drinks!!) Emily and my nephew who is staying over are all in bed now so I got a cup of tea and decided to unload via this blog and it's been very therapeutic.

Just before I finish , I have been thinking about this blog and why I am doing it and why I would want to have areas of my private life laid bare. A lot of people I know can't understand it and perhaps if I had not been reading blogs all these months it would seem strange to me as well but I feel comfortable with the information I am sharing,. I have heard about a few people having some very negative and sometimes abusive comments and my thinking on this at the moment is that if this does get read and if anyone feels strongly enough about my ramblings to post a shitty comment then that is something I will deal with at the time.I think that the initial aim of doing a blog was as a way of helping someone to get an insight into home ed but as time goes on I think I will get as much benefit from this as anyone.


Goodnight and god bless
Just noticed the time is still not right I will try again to get the right time zone thingy....