"Although I speak from my own experience, I feel that no one has the right to impose his or her beliefs on another person. I will not propose to you that my way is best. The decision is up to you. If you find some point which may be suitable for you, then you can carry out experiments for yourself. If you find that it is off no use, then you can discard it." Dalai Lama...

Thursday, 20 December 2007

Taking a moment to breathe.....

We have a very grumpy and tearful little girl after a very late night(I think excitement levels are getting to her and she was in bed at a reasonable time but could not settle) and a mummy with yet another bad head and too many hot sweats and mood fluctuations for anybody to bear with grace.Sounds like a recipe for disaster!!What kind of day are we going to have????

I am taking a moment to remind myself that as a further step along the unschooling path We have given her some freedom when it comes to bed times, she went to bed at a reasonable time it wasn't her fault she couldn't then get to sleep.Even though she is very narky I will try to stay calm and not take the bait and help her see the consequences of her late nights on the previous few day's without any digs or trying to score points,I will treat her with respect, the way I would like to be treated and I will be caring and not judgemental regardless of the fact I have no energy and all I want to do is curl up in ball and sleep.
The menopause has alot to answer for but it is not Emily's problem, I need to arrange the day so we can have as good a one as possible.

So step one is not to go over to the food co op in the village hall and help out. Locally produced fruit and veg is delivered and we unload it and bag it up and people come and collect it at a fraction of the supermarket cost. Luckily Emily is of the same mind as she is so tired, because she normally loves going over and playing with another couple of home eders,this week the schools have broken up and there will be lots of children with their mums and it could get abit loud which under normal circumstances would be fine but not with the throbbing going on in my head and Emily in a narky mood.....

Step two has luckily already been organised earlier as Alan is coming home this afternoon to take Emily out so I can have a rest.I have been overdoing thing's lately and need to ensure I don't end up poorly over Xmas, so that's good timing .

Step three is an easy tea with minimal cooking and that will be a sweetcorn chowder from Nigella Lawson's new book very quick and easy and I have all the ingredients in ready.Emily wouldn't touch it with a bargepole but I have some macaroni cheese in the freezer left over from last week.

So how did it all go... I think giving myself the time this morning to write/think/breathe helped me, just giving myself the chance to think through things I felt less agitated and more in control, so it went very well in the end. I had to deal with a couple of flash points early on but kept calm and spoke kindly( even though I felt short tempered with the head and all )and tried to remember that when I feel crap the last thing I need is someone making me feel worse by being condescending.

Alan came home just after lunch and they headed off to the pencil museum at keswick. They had a great time and there was a quiz where you had to find the names of various Christmas characters around the displays and enter their names on a sheet, not so long ago she would not of wanted to take part or asked us to fill it in but she did this all herself.
She won a small prize and also received a tin with 5 crayons in and a pencil sharpener as a celebration gift to commemorate 175 years. It is a small museum within a factory and does not take too long to go round but the staff are really friendly and there is a good gift shop and cafe and Emily enjoys the drawing room where you can use a selection of the various pencils made there to colour in printouts and learn different techniques from a video, Emily doesn't take too much interest in the video as yet!!

By the time they got back I had had a bath and washed my hair and enjoyed a bit of time to myself.
I adore Emily and love having her with me and we usually have a great time but there are times when you just need a bit of space for your own sanity. Especially as at the moment after seeing the Golden Compass Emily has a daemon with her at all times and I am getting a constant commentary on what it is saying and doing.
Emily doesn't go all quiet when she is tired ,it is as if she is turbo charged, she moves around constantly and her imagination is in overdrive and she likes to tell you all she is thinking...God love her.

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