A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Silver linings....

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Silver linings....

The plan for today was to travel to Northumberland to visit and stay over with friends. We were going to watch two members of the family in a play.

It was around November last year that we met for the first time. Time has flown!

We visited them before Xmas last year to see Gary, El and Patrick in The Railway Children - a really fabulous production that I have very fond memories of:-)

Over the year since then we have spent many, many happy times together. We would have loved to see this years production of Arthur ....

Events conspired against us though and this time we couldn't make it :-(

Milly is under the weather. The actual weather is also a factor because of the unpredictability and possible snow falls.

And my dad has had a stroke.

Mum had noticed that he was having difficulty with his speech. He was not able to get out what he wanted to say and had also been showing other signs over the last week or so. She got an emergency appointment at the Dr's yesterday and they ended up in A&E. It is a small bleed apparently and after assessment he has been discharged from hospital to attend the stroke clinic on Monday to have a scan and find out what treatment will be needed.

So the weekend has taken on a different shape.

On the bright side ( cos you just have to find that silver lining don't you! ) we got to practise making brownies again today and family members who sampled them gave them a thumbs up:-)) A little bit more practise but we are on our way to being brownie making queens :-))

Alan was at work this morning. I hadn't been able to sleep last night and saw 2.00:-( I woke at 8.00 and couldn't get back to sleep . I eventually got up and pottered about - well mainly sat and drank tea but a little pottering was done:-)) Made Breakfast - for Milly when she got up - which was lunch for me :-)

This afternoon has seen me and Al doing some housework and also sorting out the garland for the fireplace - it is many years old and looking a little tired... We have put it up and I will get some twinkly lights and buy some bows to give it a new lease of life.

Milly decided to clean out her room.

She found it tough going as she has a temperature but she had music on and took everything off her surfaces and put them in the hall whilst she dusted and sorted everything out. She took her time and after it was all put back in I vacuumed and put her bedding on for her as she had run out of steam:-)

Another silver lining is that I get to watch the Strictly Come Dancing final. I would have taped it and got to watch it tomorrow but I am enjoying watching it live:-)

Harry to Win!!!

3 comments:

Big mamma frog said...: Sorry to hear about your Dad. Fingers crossed that this small stroke has been a warning and he can now receive appropriate treatment to prevent any further strokes.; 18 December 2011 at 18:55
Lynn said...: Thanks Big Mamma :-) xxx; 19 December 2011 at 16:37
Michelle said...: Hope Dad makes a full recovery. Hugs xx; 4 January 2012 at 18:05

This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious