A LIFE WORTH LIVING....: Keeping on track...

Monday, 18 February 2008

Keeping on track...

I have had a day where I really did not want to do anything,I got up and browsed and after breakfast Milly and I sat together in the dining room ,her on her DS and me on here.I had no inclination to suggest anything else just in case she took me up on it !!!!

I then got ready and cleaned up whilst Milly played.I was feeling really tired and then found out the reason why, I have my first period in over three months and I could of cheered ,I have never been so glad to get one. I have had constant PMT symptoms over the three months and was sure on numerous occasions that all the pain I was getting meant one was on its way but it never happened, just hope that now it has arrived I can get back to normal,well what I call normal LOL.

I have also decided to change some things to help with the Menopause symptoms and hope to get a kick start on Thusday. Alan is taking two days off to be with Emily and I am going to do two detox days where I will just have Juices.If the past is anything to go by I will probably have a day with a severe bad head and aches and pains then I should feel much better the second day.After that I will change my diet as I have got back to eating too much unhealthy food and will have to go through a couple of weeks of cravings but then it will get easier. I am going to see a therapist on Thursday afternoon,she does Reiki, reflexology plus various massages ,and Bowen technique not sure which treatment to have yet but will have a good chat and see what fits best.

Milly and I cleaned Liz rabbit out this afternoon and then Milly went on the trampoline whilst I sat and had a cuppa, I also attempted to read Alfie Kohn Unconditional Parenting but Milly was chatting away and I gave it up and sat in the sun and talked about our daemons with her.

She had decided this morning not to go to Brownies and after initially suggesting she should go I backed down and accepted she was feeling under the weather, she had had a lot of excitement over the last few days and was tired. She asked to go in the bath at 6.00 and I read The Blitz and after the bath we read a little more but she was happy to turn the light out at 7.15 and was asleep within minutes just as well she hadn't gone to Brownies.

We had Emily's best friend in the car with us yesterday and on the way home from the party she started speaking to Emily in french, it was fairly basic stuff but she did it very well and confidently.Now over the last few weeks I have not had any wobbles about education and what Emily may be missing out on by not going to school but that gave me one last night!!! I foolishly began comparing them and had to stop myself and give myself a good talking to.These doubts just come out of left field when you least expect and attack any insecurities.I have mulled it over today,I got over it and got back on track. If Milly wants to learn a language it will happen when she is ready, so far any attempt however subtle to engage in anything to do with another language has been blocked but that goes for anything to do with maths or anything else she is just not interested in.The things she finds interesting she does and gets enjoyment from as well as knowledge.
We are working hard to ensure Emily is free and happy and I believe that in the long run a childhood filled with love ,freedom ,and happiness will pay dividends in adulthood.

It is easier to fill an adults knowledge and academic holes than it is to fill emotional or spiritual ones

Not sure who wrote that but it is part of a quote I have on my wall in the dining room ,specifically put there for times like this......

6 comments:

Stacie said...: I too have gotten into some really bad habits where food is concerned. My health is suffering, and I have decided to change that. I am terribly addicted to sugar, and know I need to cut way back. I have done it before and my skin and stomach problems improved, and so did my energy level. After the cravings that is. I do fear them. They make me so grumpy. But if i just remember that they will pass, and then I'll feel great, hopefully it will be easier to get through them.; 18 February 2008 at 22:01
Lynn said...: Hello Stacie,
I am sure there are many others out there who like us know the right things to do but for whatever reason choose to ignore them.
There comes a time for me when I just can't make any more excuses and know I have to help myself to feel better even though it is hard work. I hope this time I manage to stick with it, because the benefits to eating well and taking moderate excersise are really significant.; 18 February 2008 at 22:10
Stacie said...: Well, it might help if we had someone to hold us accountable. If you want I could give you my email address, and we could report our progress to each other, every day, or every couple of days. Just a thought. No pressure if you don't like the idea.; 18 February 2008 at 22:13
Michelle said...: Hope the next two days go well for you Lynn.

I like your quote :-); 20 February 2008 at 19:30
Lynn said...: Stacie, thanks for that,It certainly couldn't do any harm for us to support each other.It might just be the thing that keeps us on track. XX; 23 February 2008 at 16:52
Lynn said...: Hi Michelle,
I have had a great two days, switched off completely, it has been just what I needed.
That qoute really jumped out at me.
I have to remember the emotional and spiritual affect that being at school had on Emily.She still has a way to go on the deschooling road.; 23 February 2008 at 17:03

This is me.....

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me... or leave me. Accept me - or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter.

Why we Home educate

( Slightly edited from a blog post I did when we started out) In the end the actual decision to take Emily out only took a matter of days but before that it had been around a year and a half of talking about ti and reading books, Free range education by Terri Dowty, Educating your child at home by Jane Lowe and Alan Thomas were two that had a real impact for different reasons. Free range education has lots of examples of real life home educators and I think I can say that it was this one that convinced me the most that we could do it. We are two very average people ,neither of us left school with many qualifications, we went on to do quite well in our chosen professions and had no need to think about the education system at all until Emily came along.

I knew about home education and when Emily was born considered it as an optionbut always felt my lack of education would be a problem and that I wouldn't be capable of providing her with what she would need.Looking back with hindsight it is easy to see how wrong I was!!

School never really suited Emily......After the nursery year at a very highly rated, high achieving school we knew that particular School wasn't for us and took her out. We enrolled her in a lovely village school with only 70 children in the whole school .The ethos of the school was totally different, the children didn't wear uniforms and there was much more emphasis on the children being individuals.The head was a sensitive and principled man who wanted the best for the children. We thought we had struck gold.Over the reception and year 1 Emily gained confidence and really started to bloom. It was at this time she was diagnosed with dyspraxia( we had had to go down the diagnosis route as our observations of Emily's difficulties were not enough to enable the teachers to tailor things so she was helped and given less work in class) but she managed quite well in the more relaxed play orientated early years.Year 2 with more emphasis on academic activities got progressively harder for her. She is very sensitive and it wasn't just the academic side it was the embarassment of having to put her hand up for the toilet,seeing others being told off and worrying in case she did something wrong and got the same treatment, panicking because she couldn't do the work and the teacher never had time to sit with her (alot of this did not come out until she had left school) her behaviour at home became worse and worse she was so angry and obviously stressed . At this time we began to seriously consider taking her out but held back because of my lack of confidence in my ability to provide her with an adequate education ,my health being so poor was also a major stumbling block.

Then in year three it became blatantly obvious that something needed to change .She was struggling on all levels and we couldn't allow the school system to damage our daughter anymore.She became ill with a bug that was doing the rounds and she was off for two weeks , during that time I had a conversation with a friend who home educates her two children and I was so upset I couldn't make a decision and she said just go with whats in your heart and that really helped me to shift my thinking and stop worrying about what I couldn't give her and focus on what I could give her.

We never sent her back.I still get emotional when I think of that time , the look on Emily's face when we told her she would never have to go back to school was priceless,the immense sense of relief that we were off the treadmill of school life and the excitement of the time ahead and to be honest the fear of the unknown......

So here we are four years on and a lot of reading and researching later I feel comfortable with what we are doing . The changes that have happened so far have been helped along the way by the many wonderful blogs out there.They are so varied and there are so many different approaches , I have found ones that I can identify with and have read a lot of archive material that has been written in each and found answers to so many of the questions I have had that they have helped me to sort out what will work best for us .As much as I wish we had done this earlier and saved Emily from the distress that she went through I do believe things happen for a reason and that the time was right for us to take her out and that looking on the bright side one of the benefits is that at least she has had a taste of school and now we all know without a doubt that it is not for us !!!!

It is very liberating to be making decisions based on what works best for us as a family and not what society expects.

Let your child be a child.

No child was ever spoiled by too much love.

Be authentic with your child.

Listen openly to your child’s needs.

Believe in your child’s good intentions.

Find the humour.

Look past the behaviour… what is your child feeling?

Have fun with your child today!

“There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” - John Holt

“Play is really the work of childhood.” - Fred Rogers

“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.” - Oscar Wilde

Children thrive in a peaceful and loving environment.

A child needs love most when things go wrong.

Children reflect the treatment they receive.

A few qoutes I like....

Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in, broadside, thouroughly used up, totally worn out and loudly shouting, 'WOW'.... Beth Moore

The perpetual testing of public school children is like a gardener constantly pulling his plants up by the roots to see if they are growing....(unknown)

Children require guidance and sympathy far more than instuction...Helen Kellers teacher

I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand...Confusious